Songs of Meaning

‎And now that we’re here, So far away..

All the struggle we thought was in vain

And all the mistakes One life can take;

They all finally start to go away.

And now that we’re here its so far away

And I feel like I can face the day

I can forgive, and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

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I’m still waiting for
You to be the one I’m waiting for

Something tells me that this is going to make sense
Something tells me it’s going to take patience
Something tells me that this will all work out in the end

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I was the last to know

I’ll be the first to say
That now I’m okay
And for the first time
I’ve opened up my eyes

Love (Again)

I've said to some people that I don't want to feel for anyone the way I have in the past year. Though I wasn't totally right, I wasn't far off either. The emotional love I had for specific people was the basis for our desire for more in the future.
I wanted to marry because I loved her. Not that strange of a thought to most people, and conventional standards. But that in and of itself is why that love failed. The basis for us was how we felt, on our emotions. Emotions which are extraordinarily fickle; they change minute to minute, and day to day based on everything from how wee we have slept, to how the day is going. When we were happy, we love more, when we are hurt we wouldn't want to love each other.
Love, the way we had it, the way poets and songwriters describe it, is a drug. That's not a good thing. It intoxicates, and addicts. It promotes a wonderful high, so good that eventually the purpose of the connection for both parities is merely to maintain that high. I want to avoid this love.
This love can be true and deep. It can be the basis for a long and happy life together, but it alone is not enough. No matter what the songs say, love the way people want it is not enough. That kind of love is self-serving; "as long as it feels good and doesn't hurt me I will hold onto it". It has to fulfill a need, and even if the other person’s needs are met in the same way, the concept is inherently selfish. Because, on its own, it only last as long as there is no hurt. But because we are talking about an emotion, there is always a risk of being hurt. It is more tantamount to loving the feeling of being in love.
This enrapturing love must be coupled with "Choice Love". The kind of love that is entirely about the other person. The kind of love that says, "Even when this person hurts me, I will still love them. Even when I wake up in the morning and hate them, I will still love them. I will love them because I choose to."
This is not only represented by love between people, man and woman, but between people and God.
God does not care how we feel in worship. His presence does not rely, influence, or hinge on how we feel. Praise should not be our attempt to find a high emotional feeling, that we can call the "spirit". It is for HIS glory not for our feelings.
God's presence is not defined by our emotional experiences. Those who have "met God" in an overwhelming flood of "Spiritual" emotion, may have truly interacted with the almighty, and praise God that they have, praise him for HIS presence that HE gave. But when, after those experiences, they judge all moments of prayer, worship, and spiritual activity by the standard of the emotional high, then they are bowing to the idol of emotion, rather than worshiping God. When God's presence is defined or identified by the emotions and highs felt by us, then we are no longer seeking and worshiping HIM. Our emotions make a weak and pathetic idol that we put in a disastrous place of power.
God loves us, whether we feel it or not. How often do we equate God’s love to how things are going in our lives. How selfish to think that somehow we can earn (or lessen) Gods favor. God's love for us and blessings on us are not dependent on us. God does not love us more when everything is easy, when things feel good, when there is an emotional high, than he does when things are hard, painful, and low. God, and His love, is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. His love never fails. It's constant. The change we feel is simply a fickle feeling and emotion.
Love, for God and people, should start in the mind. For the heart, where we feel emotional love, is deceitfully wicked. Instead, love starts as a choice. The high, emotional feeling that we identify as love is a by-product of a life spent with a person you choose to love, and a God who loves you by His endless grace. Other kinds of love are emotional, and by definition, not constant. Can we define something that must be constant by something that cannot be? Instead, because of the love and favor we have, those emotions will come, not the other way around. They can happen, and are right to, but must be guided by a committed choice to love.
Love by man is selfish. Beware this love.

Fulfillment

Do hard things. Life isn't about You. Do some things you don't like, that wont help you or benefit you. Fulfillment doesn't come from having what you want dropped in your lap. Work, serve, live. Do.