Colloquy
Segment I: Self
People can be defined as individuals one of two ways: either by who they believe they are or by who others perceive them to be. I believe these two vantage points have psychological/scientific names, but as I don’t know those names, I will henceforth call them self perception (how you think you are) and realistic perception
Self Perception is the person that you believe you are. Few people ever realize that they are a person, unique and special, separate from all others. This person, who exists primarily inside the body, can be in some ways thought of as the soul. It drives your actions, your attitudes, your beliefs, and your reactions. When you think, this is the part of the mind that actually does the deciding.
Now, whether people understand and see this or not, the thinking processes, controlled by “self” can be analysed, and further subdivided. A person is not made up of a singular whole, but rather multiple facets or “voices”. While the idea of having voices inside ones head may sound like a bad thing, really it is fully natural and only speaks to the complexity of the human psyche. Each voice is nessesary for a complete formation of “self” or personality. When one of these aspects are amplified over the others, removed, or an extra voice is added, individuals form of “self” is scewed, and personality disorders form.
The three voices inside personality (again neglecting proper study of psychology and its terms) are as follows: Instinct (or child), reason (or adult), and Emotion (or spirit). Instinct is exactly what it sounds like, they are the bas wants and needs, and the thought process behind obtaining those wants. I classify instinct as “child” because, uninfluenced by the other to, this voice is primarily selfish, needy, and loud. The second voice, reason, is predictable and logical, often counteracting instinct. Reason speaks for logic, and organization, pushing the mind, and influencing the other two voices for maximum efficiency. It is reason, typically, that answers to the conscience, saying what is right and wrong based on knowledge and understanding of natural law. The third voice, emotion, is the hardest to explain, as in every person it manifests differently. These three voices, together, make up a persons process of thought and how they process information. If you take time and listen to the internal “conversation” you have with yourself when you think about anything, listen hard enough to what is going on and you will hear the different voices. It takes even longer to identify which is which.
To a Christian, the idea of three voices making one being is particularly significant. We believe we are created in the image of a triune God, three voices or spirits making one being. The voices of the mind are just another way in which the human person is a simplified image of an unfathomable God.
The combination of these three voices forms a person’s “self”. Every person has a different mixture of these three voices, or rather has given different levels of influence to each voice. Every person has a unique from of these three, forged from life experience, intellect, understanding, and God- given uniqueness. These aspects together form a personality, or the self perception. The decisions that these voices, in simpler form, a persons thought process, are what you do based on what you believe you are.
The person you are inside, as organized into the three voices, controls how you decide things, and what actions you will take. You do not do things out of character without due reason, unless that image of what you are inside has changed.
These actions, based on self-image, are what others around you see. The people circling a person do not see that person as that person sees themselves. People form images of others based on their external actions, and that interpretation of the actions, caused by self image, rarely produce the same image of “self” as they were meant to. Put simply people don’t see your reactions the same way you do, and so they do not see you the way you do. The way other people see you is the second vantage point: realistic perception. This is primarily defined by others interpreting your actions.
This raises the question, is a person the “self” they see, or how others interpret them. Both sides have their logical strengths and weaknesses, but what is most logical is a case by case understanding. While one person may be defined by what others see of them, another may act in a way that who he believes himself to be is the greater part.
In the film Batman Begins, a prevalent phrase, as spoken first my Rachel Dawes, is one example of a way of seeing this difference. “Its not what you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.” That is a very simple way of saying that the person you see your are, your self image, is not who you are, but rather who you are is the person people interpret you to be by your actions. In this case, I would disagree. The character of Bruce Wayne/Batman, whole to everyone else, is actually two people, but to all who see the movie, we know that they are one and the same. So the question is, is the person of Bruce Wayne/ Batman, the person he acts himself to be, or the person he sees himself to be? Logically, taking in both of his personas, that character would be the person he believes himself to be. The persona of Bruce Wayne, it seems, is an act, not an accurate representation of his own self image. He portrays the image of a rich, frivolous playboy, in order to cover nighttime activities. Because this is not who he really is, the actions preformed under this persona, though able to be interpreted, does not show who he is, but rather who he wants people to think he is.
The person inside is what shapes the person people see. If you dislike how you view yourself, your actions will reflect that dislike, and others will interpret those actions in kind. Only rarely do people act against the person they see themselves as, and those that do are trying to get people to think of them as a specific thing. Either a person is putting on a face for the public, and is thus considered a disingenuous person, or the person their actions show them to be is a reflection of the person they are inside.
For Christians, the effort is to accept Christ on the inside, and make the person you are, and the person you see you are as like Him as you are able. The more Christlike you are on the inside, the actions others interpret you as will more directly reflect Christ as well.
In the end, knowing the difference between what you see you as is simply a way to unify ones personality. When looking at the way you see yourself; if others do not treat you as you feel they should based on who you see you are, then the way you act is not accurately representing that inside person.

Segment II: Constitute
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state".

“My belief has always been . . . that wherever in this land any individual's constitutional rights are being unjustly denied, it is the obligation of the federal government -- at point of bayonet if necessary -- to restore that individual's constitutional rights.”

A constitutional democracy is in serious trouble if its citizenry does not have a certain degree of education and civic virtue.

A law can be both economic folly and constitutional.

Segment III: Foundations
http://www.usconstitution.net/const.html

Segment IV: Season
So After Quitting my Job at subway just before WEEK 1 of SSI, I had planned to get an internship at the state capitol, and ride that until I went to Hillsdale in January. I was working on Spanish 1 and had anticipated finishing Spanish 2 by the end of July. As of now it seems like everything I thought then would happen is being thrown about.
During SSI I found an amazing group of people. The kind of group that for the second time in my life was completely fulfilling without disastrous side affects. We sat together at nearly every meal, and were almost constantly laughing. I cannot say why this formation of “The Table” has affected the outlook of my fall season, but it has. I’m not sure what is coming for all of us, but its going to be fun.
During Week 1 of SSI I hit a low. Not the lowest I have been, but still an extreme low. Though I was able to hide it from the table, im sure it adversely affected the way I was perceived, ad it was a shock to the core of who I thought I was.
See I am afflicted by being a pointless teenager. From the time I was fourteen until only recently I have been a slacker, entertainer, and someone who has not earned the right to be taken seriously. After striving to outgrow such past childishness, the after affects torment me even moreso.
While growth precludes the idea of ever entirely being rid of a past form, I find myself with a strong desire to completely re-write who I am, because so much of who I am is based on a weak, useless form of myself. I want to be better in every way, because I am inadequate, as I see myself. This manifests itself as self-loathing, which is only further confounded by everyone’s perception of me.
See I have no delusions that I have earned the way I am treated. By my past actions I have shown that I deserve the ignorance and disrespect I feel that I am shown. There was a time that I was ok with that, but that time has passed. As I strive to “grow up” and re-write what I see myself as, and therefore what I am, I am often stifled by the social role I am put it. Name change, hair color, scars, and jewelry are all ways I have tried to physically show that there is something different about me. On some level I hope (likely in vain) that if others see a physical difference, perhaps they will notice an internal difference in who I am, and thus desire to understand this new person I am Becoming.
After SSI, which included some healing, I Was faces with some unexpected decisions and situations. Firstly, In order to maintain insurance coverage, I have to be enrolled in College. This created a short period of panic in which I applied to LCC, and registered for courses. I am now scheduled to start Fencing, Aikido, and Business Math on Aug 20th.
I still have to start Spanish II in order to be eligible for Hillsdale. But doing it, as well as College may be a drag on my mind; thus I hope to have it completed before the 20th. This being the case, however, I failed to consider SSI into my plans. After the summer program last year, I volunteered my (then) new computer to produce and replicate DVD’s from the summer program events to sell. This project, with all the video capturing and editing it involves, is a timing nightmare, and requires daily attention.
The internship I had hoped to get has not yet panned out, and so that time is still “free” in as much as I will have to use it to accomplish all my other goals. My parents want me to be working in any case, whether paid or not, so I have applied to the Local Health Food Store. I have yet to hear back but I’m confident. The prospect of an internship, job, as well as SSI and College is daunting, but I still hope I can do it. Nothing will better prepare me for the hard work that waits ahead at school.

Segment V: Postponed

Segment VI: Collide
When I came here there was more.
Now I've come back to destroy,
And I've got nothing left,
And it's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love,
And it's a place I can not go,
Anymore.

When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
We break.

When the cold comes crashing down,
And the fight lost what it's about.
I could tell that you'd left.
It's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love.
It's a place I can not go,
Anymore.

When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
When we collide.

It's a hard mistake,
When we collide.

Segment VII: Table