Segment 1: Transform
Its no big secret that, as a general principle, i cannot stand people in my own age group. Granted there are exceptions, but as I don't make a practice of Judging people in groups, exceptions are bound to happen. It is not contradictory to say that i "don't like people my age" then to say that I don't judge people in groups, as it might seem. A general characteristic that is overlayed on my generation, is the sheep-like, cookie cutter mentality that public schools generate. The fact is I can judge a good portion of the population, without ever meeting them, because they are trained to be clones of one another. Teenagers are sheep, they follow each other around.
One of the most common "issues" among my age group, is authority. Teens on the whole continually shout for "independence", they want to be treated as adults who are unique and individual people. They want to be able to choose for themselves who they are going to be, to make their own identities, which they usually model after their friends. In simple terms, the sheep want to be free to follow each other around pointlessly.
In an attempt to gain their individual identity by force, young people have begun forming their own subcultures, specifically designed to be different from one another. The Jock, the nerd, the em, the goth, the prep, whatever it may be, are all expressions of either blind conformity or ignorant conformity. Blind conformity is exactly what its name suggests, an unknown, automatic acceptance that everyone is supposed to be the same, and the adjustment to become like everyone else. Ignorant, or reverse conformity is when a person seeks to be different, and thus changes who they are to counteract what they see as "the norm". The argument is that a person can only be unique if they aren't like anyone else. While the idea itself may be wrong, it isn't the cause of their conformity. They say that they are unique because they are different, but they have modeled themselves as opposites, allowing what they don't want to be to shape what they are. A person who changes their body, act differently on purpose, or accomplishes something for the sole reason of being different, has allowed something to shape them, and they are not being who they are. Conformity, for this article, will be defined as allowing something to shape or mold you to a specific way that is not your true or original form.
Sociology defines Socialization as "the process by which a persons identity and personality are formed". What a truly devastating prospect that is. The entirety of who we are is circumstantial? Perhaps there is truth in that if i had different friends, or had gone to public school, i would be a very different person, but would I not still be the fun-loving, emotionally dramatic, generally weird, pleasantly creepy person I am? Whether or not the sociological truth of socialization is true or not is debatable; however, because of its common use, it seems that society believes it. I am who I am because of where I am.
This is a very humanistic, evolutionist idea, which perhaps explains why so many people subscribe to it. Because if it is true, the there is no such thing as true individuality, there is only adaption, and we are all various forms of the same animal. How very sad.
Now one might think, due to my abhorrence of the Public education/Liberal, Government sponsored indoctrination system, that I blame the Public Schools for the development of carbon copy people. It is logical to assume this, as the process of mass producing education can only result in mass producing minds that are all very similar and do not know how to truly find themselves. I would say that people taught to think, but in fact they are: they are taught how to think and what to think, and any person who thinks differently, or disagrees with the common thought is intolerant, and therefore should not be tolerated. But I digress.
Here is a simple fact about me and my political ideas. I don't blame the public schools for anything. The are merely and extension of the federal and state governments, who I also do not blame for anything. I'll say that again: I do not blame the government for anything. You see, I believe that the government, state, federal, or local, is not America. The people are America, and the people truly control the country. This is the foundational idea behind my personal political ideology. Any problem in America is the responsibility of its people, not its government. The problem is that the people of America have become lazy and apathetic.
We complain about the government, Blaming our problems on it, But we forget that we are the foundation of this nation, and have passed our responsibilities to a governing body we created, originally, to serve us. See the flaw? We give our national problems tot he government, for them to fix, even though we blame the government for causing them. This is a sign of a weak minded and lazy citizenry.
We created Public education, so that everyone could be educated to the same common level for free, so they never have to learn the difficulty that learning really is, because we were just to lazy to force ourselves to be educated the hard way. The nation that was founded on the desire and work brave men to become independent, now relies on a social system built on common conformity and dependence on a government to socialize and educate the individuality right out of us.
Segment 2: Help
"Never ask customer services or tech support if you are being an idiot, the answer violates their 'friendliness policy'"
"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."
"I am good at everything... Except birthing babies" Tim Hunt
Segment 3:
http://www.gsnt.org/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3R7wNyrWCA&feature=channel_page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G725c8If_k4
Segment 4: Driven
This past week or two have been very simple for me, yet at the same time i have had to face things i wasn't ready for. Typically my worries are present and material, meaning they are worries about what is happening now and what is going wrong. The lack of activity over the past twelve days for me was very relaxing, but it gave me time to contemplate and analyse things that I hadn't really expected to.
Every few months i will look in the mirror and see an entirely new and different person than before, and thats not a bad thing. But what i only now am beginning to understand is that these changes i see in myself, wether others see them or not, are going to change what i do about things, and what i want to do. So, inevitably, i am facing losing/giving up things that i used to love and want.
I had planned on missing week two of SSI this year, for a family gathering for my Grandfathers 80th birthday. Now i am wondering if there was a point in doing any of the three weeks. There are things and people and memories from years past that both make me want to go, and stay away at the same time. Also, having done literally everything but instruct and act as a chaperone, i wonder what my purpose in going would be? As i feel like a different person every few months, i don't know who or what i will be come june, or how i will feel about SSI. For now i feel that my time there has come and gone, and i need to move on.
I have given up my financial goals because of the lack of one job, but now it seems that i may need to find a second job anyways, as my current one may not last. Thins are a bit up in the air when it come sot my employment, and i recently shelled out a substantial amt of money for a few things (see last post*). I would appreciate prayer as i look for a new job.
I once again have a new set of friends than i did some months ago, and these friends have brought me a little internal peace. my relationships with my older friends have all changed, generally in a good way, though there are exceptions.
On saturday, i spent most of the day with my family (Eruseldon's) sledding and talking, and generally doing family things. Then I drove an hour and a half to Adiran for a party, which I enjoyed despite some awkward moments. The most exciting part of the day, however, was on the way home form adrian. round about 11. It had been snowing nearly an hour, and i was the only car within sight on US 127. Apparently the deer that crossed in front of me was more comfortable on the road than i was. I thought of the phrase "deer in the headlights", which i always took to mean a shocked, terrified look. Never again will i use the phrase for that. I caught the creatures eye just before i swerved, and i swear to you, it looked like it was challenging me. Cockly, 6 point, bambi freak.
Anyways I swerved to avoid twig-head, which i did successfully, at the cost of my control over my Buick. I'm so glad i didn't get that tiny, lightweight car i wanted for its gas mileage. In any case, i was still going fast enough to cause my car to do two complete rotations on the road before stopping. I didn't end up in he ditch. i sat there for five minutes while my heartrate slowed, the got out to make sure i didn't do anything to my car (which i have named Persivle, by the way). Still no one was in sight, so i just drove away. i was a bit jumpy and didn't go above 55 for the last half hour i drove, but i made it in one piece, then preceded to leave the indoor dome lights of my car on over the weekend. I blame the deer.
Segment 5: Antien
Sometimes he wondered why he had the two expansive wings which grew six feet each form his back, yet folded down to be concealed beneath his dark leather coat. Flying was easier without them, though he made a regular practice of using them anyways, so the new muscles that controlled the feathered limbs wouldn't atrophy. At this moment, though he wished he could use them to counteract, and perhaps change the massive wind current that brought torrent is snow down from the clouds. If he created enough wind, perhaps he would blow the snow away and wouldn't have to shovel... He shivered intentionally, to give the appearance of being cold. It wasn't as though the wind or snow, or even cold usually bothered him, he'd just as soon leave it be and go inside, but his car would never be able to get out of the garage with so much snow on the driveway. He hated pretending too need the old silver Buick to get around, but the masquerade was nessesary. Alot of apearances were. Even now he was focusing on maintaining an alchemic reaction which concealed his long, pointed ears, sharp teeth, and the two horns which curled up a quarter inch form his lower lip. The reaction also make is face look a little red, and caused a drip of liquid to run from his nose (the part he hated most), all to give the impression to anyoen who may have been watching, that he acually was cold and shoveling hte snow was difficult. It was ironic that he had to spend more energy to make it look liek hard work, than to actually do the work.
He tensed as he felt it. The meteor entering earch atmosphere, headed, generally, in his direction. He always felt these thing happen, it was like a seventh sense. "Limited kinetic precognition" Alyssa had once called it. That inexpicable knwoledge he had of thins movign around him. This was the fouth Astrological event that he had to prevent since thanksgiving. Someone was calling them, but not magically, he would have noticed (that was his sixths sence, detecting metaphysical activity).
He quickly scanned the immediate area again to make sure no one was watching, then listened for satalite signals, to see if anyonw was watching that way. After a biref moment, when he was satisfied that no such onlookers were present, he released a buste of kenetic energy from his feet, pushing him into the air toward the oncoming space rock, simultaneously dropping the reaction that hid his nonhuman features, and releasing his wings, whish tore off his coat as they streched and expanded....
Segment 6: Air
Well if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend
But I don't know if you know who I am
Well I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe of the grin
I know where you've been
Its all been a pack of lies
I can feel it
Coming in the air tonight
Hold on
I've been waiting for this moment
For all my life
Hold on, Hold on
Well I remember
I remember don't worry
How could I ever forget
Its the first time
The last time
We ever met
But I know the reason why you keep me silenced up
No you don't fool me
Cause the hurt doesn't show
But the pain still grows
Its no stranger to you and me
I'm a married, employed, financially stable "adult". When did this Happen?
Monday, December 22, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Places
Segment 1: Destiny
This Past year at SSI (and everywhere else, i guess) was humbling for me in a way. Having distanced myself from the emotional problems and stress that came up over the summer, I can now look back at what I learned at SSI and put it in its proper perspective.
I went in with a bit of a Chip on my shoulder, to be honest. I had been there enough times that i knew it all and had done it all and wasn't concerned about learning anything. Being neither ADC proper, nor Staff proper, i allowed myself to skip teaching session and chapel if it bored me. Its odd that I view something that happened 5 months ago as "my foolish childhood". I had forgotten the truth that underlies everything at SSI.
The first year i went, when i was still innocent for the most part, I had come away with a Passion and fire, but because is was still "soft" i lost it though what I learned never left me.
The constant theme of SSI is "Truth, Destiny, and Purpose". By the end of the week, alot of emphasis is placed on Destiny, and for a long time i considered my destiny something that was mutually exclusive. But in reality, You cannot have any one of the three, without the other two, or if you do the end result will be misguided.
Anything done without truth finds its bases in falsehood, and has no stable foundation. No God-inspired destiny can be built without a foundation. Neither can ones destiny be achieved without purpose. Both attempts will result in living aimlessly and will bear no fruit.
I used to wonder why i fell in love with SSI my first year, and why it lost its drive the years that followed. The reason for this I have already explained: I was arrogant. I had taken the things I learned at SSI for granted, and truth taken for granted may as well be forgotten. I fell in love with the program because it equipped me with real, hard truth on which God would build my destiny. When i forgot those truths, it stands to reason that the joy would be forgotten as well.
Little wonder why my life was so off track. Without the truth as my stability, my purpose had become fluid, and my destiny was like the leaning tower of piza. The clear vision i had for my future had faded, not because God had left me, as i felt at the time, but because I had taken the truth for granted.
And as i considered these things in the months since SSI 08, I realized that with the truth comes a greater calling. A calling that doesn't not apply just to me and my life, but to any person who attends SSI, or any place where they can learn Gods powerful and unchanging truth. Any person who is given such a gift is inescapably part of Gods divine plan, because such truth is not given without a reason. If God has given a person truth, then he has done so intentionally, not by some circumstance or accident.
With God given truth and a Kingdom- bringing purpose, a person has a divinely inspired Destiny, and everything they need to accomplish it and THEY HAVE NO EXCUSE!
We often say when we are entering a domain for which we don not feel prepared, that God will give us the strength we need, but if a person has the truth and a purpose, they have a destiny! Its not some miraculous event where we will be turned into a Great spiritual warrior for Christ; rather, if a person has those three elements, God HAS ALREADY GIVEN THEM all the strength and power they need.
We live in a world full of lies mistakes, and problems. This world is broken and weak and full of darkness. But the truth, when given by God is light. As Mr. Muffett explains, Light does not Run from Darkness, but rather it overwhelms darkness. The world is ripe and ready for change, and we have been the tool to change it... not Barak Obama Change, but the kind that is brought by the real Messiah. We have been Given a gift, and we have no excuse.
Segment 2: Firearms
"Don't think of it as `gun control', think of it as `victim disarmament'. If we make enough laws, we can all be criminals.
The possession of arms by the people is the ultimate warrant that government governs only with the consent of the governed."
Government- "If you think the problems we create are bad, wait till you see our solutions."
"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed."
-- Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist Papers
"Among the many misdeeds of British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest."
-- Gandhi
Segment 3: Spending
http://www.usa.canon.com/consumer/controller?act=ModelInfoAct&fcategoryid=215&modelid=17316
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPgYAn258c&eurl=http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1252230872&src=fftb
http://www.nintendo.com/wii/what
Segment 4: Budget
When I left my second job at Vinnai in June, I knew it would affect my finances but i didn't anticipate the level of spending that i would want to subject myself to when it came to the holidays. Obviously i have to budget Christmas Gifts, but considering my list this year, that wont be so hard. Its the things i want to Buy for myself that are creating the issue. I know that sounds selfish, but let me explain a little
In the above Segment "Spending" are links to the Big three (the items that are both expensive, and greatly desired).
The first is my Digital Camera, which i will need one way or another, as my old one is an inch from death. The Digital Rebel XS is the highest quality camera in its class, and has the better features compared to other brands (and is a little cheaper too). On is own the MSRP (manufacturer suggested retail price) is about $500. I've never been one to buy low quality and cheap, as shown by my knives, mp3 player and computer. If i'm gonna get something i'm gonna get the best i can. The upside to this, is my parents have agreed to go half with me on it. Even so i'm spending $250. I have always wanted a nice camera hanging around my neck with which i would be taking pictures constantly (min. 10 per day). It's kinda a dream of mine.
The second is my Firearm. The Sig Sauer P250. Considering our president elect, and a building fear of what my government will do in the future, i want to exercise my Second amendment rights while i can, and this is the most frugal way to do so. The P250 is the most affordable Weapon for its functionality Sig makes. There are cheaper brands than Sig, but i don't trust the quality. Sigs are carried by Police all over the world. Compared to the 1000+ that Sig charges for its other models, the P250's $699 is pretty dang good. Owning a weapon is a right i will fight for (one of many), and if nothing else, i want to learn how to proper defend my future (and present) family by any means necessary, hand, gun, bow, sword, whatever... this is a step in the direction of building my family in the future. I want it for the Principle of the matter.. as a statement, if nothing else.
The Last is a Nintendo Wii. Obviously, this is mostly for entertainment purposes, at $250-300. TO the observer buying one of these may be the least important, but even for it i have my reasons. I have wanted one for a while now, but suprisingly my mom has wanted one as well. The physical activity involved in some of the games makes it appealing to her as a family activity. I want it for the same reasons. I only have a few months before i leave for college, and i want to spend as much time doing things with my parents as i can. Sitting in the same room while mom studies, da putters around, and i work on my computer doesn't count. there aren't many activities we do TOGETHER as a family and a Wii could change that while there is still time. I really would like this so i could have some quality time with my parents.
Now my goal a year ago was to have $10000 before i went to college. i big goal for sure, but with two jobs it was attainable. Now i'm scaling it back a great deal, and i will be very pleased if i get to college with $5000 to my name. Considering my current accounts, and estimating potential income (assuming my income doesn't change) i wont be able to make much more than $1000 before i have to leave my Job. i'm not sure exactly how much i have right now as my funds are separated into three accounts, which i hope to consolidate soon, but id guess it around $4000. Adding up the expected costs, and not even counting in Gas for my newly attained car i'm looking at $1200 minimum. Its still possible i'll be able to keep $4000 for college, but i don't like how close i'm getting to it. I'm considering giving up one of my Big three, but i consider them all worthwhile expenses, and i wouldn't have the faintest idea which to give up; the dream, the statement, or the quality time.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Segment 5: Eyes
Another section of my "Hunter" story... i didn't have time to write much else after nanowrimo... haven't done much writing since it ended.
Hanna barely slept at all. Something about the room bothered her, but it also felt good. She felt like she was surrounded by someone, or someones feeling. She stared at Hunter all night, feeling that , though she didn't know him, she felt sorry for him. She wondered what he looked like and why he work the mask-helm. Any fear she felt about him had faded, and somehow his presence even dulled the pain of her lost Grandfather.
Without realizing she had dosed off, Hanna noticed that suddenly Hunter was gone. She bolted upright, then remembered what had happened yesterday morning. The fear of having to hyper speed through a whole city she didn't know in order to "catch him" again... He wouldn't do that to her, would he?
The small about of light that trickled in through the window illuminated the room enough to show that Hunter's coat and shirt were draped loosely over the table. Hanna looked back to where he had been sleeping and almost sighed in relief: there on the floor lay Hunter's helm. Curious, the girl looked out the window to see if she could see him. The first thing she saw was the fire that generated the light. And there was Hunter, on his knees beside the fire, face turned toward the stone that Hanna had noticed the night before.
Because of the light of the fire, Hunter's skin looked grey and jagged, like a charred tree. His Chest and head were completely without hair, so there was no color to contrast his skin. He touched the stone for a long moment, running his hand over the writing on its surface. It was only then that Hanna understood what the stone must have been.
Hunter stood quickly, taking his sword by the sheath in his left hand. Hanna watched as he slowly drew the blade, eyes closed, in the beginning of an intricate form. She was nearly put in a trance by the movement of his body and the sword, dancing together in the light of the fire.
Slowly the natural light began to grow and the fire to fade. As this transition happened, Hanna was surprised to notice that Hunter's color didn't change in the different light as she had expected. Then she realized that the tatters black denim of his pants hadn't been affected. It was not the firelight that had given Hunter his un-natural grey color; that was the color of his skin. She felt that she should be afraid of what this might mean, but something was keeping her from actually fearing him. Something about the room, and his movements and the stone.
Just as the the light of the sun negated the light of the fire, hunter opened his eyes and looked right through the window at Hanna. Eyes of Red.
Segment 6: Home
Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life you chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.
The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
These places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.
This Past year at SSI (and everywhere else, i guess) was humbling for me in a way. Having distanced myself from the emotional problems and stress that came up over the summer, I can now look back at what I learned at SSI and put it in its proper perspective.
I went in with a bit of a Chip on my shoulder, to be honest. I had been there enough times that i knew it all and had done it all and wasn't concerned about learning anything. Being neither ADC proper, nor Staff proper, i allowed myself to skip teaching session and chapel if it bored me. Its odd that I view something that happened 5 months ago as "my foolish childhood". I had forgotten the truth that underlies everything at SSI.
The first year i went, when i was still innocent for the most part, I had come away with a Passion and fire, but because is was still "soft" i lost it though what I learned never left me.
The constant theme of SSI is "Truth, Destiny, and Purpose". By the end of the week, alot of emphasis is placed on Destiny, and for a long time i considered my destiny something that was mutually exclusive. But in reality, You cannot have any one of the three, without the other two, or if you do the end result will be misguided.
Anything done without truth finds its bases in falsehood, and has no stable foundation. No God-inspired destiny can be built without a foundation. Neither can ones destiny be achieved without purpose. Both attempts will result in living aimlessly and will bear no fruit.
I used to wonder why i fell in love with SSI my first year, and why it lost its drive the years that followed. The reason for this I have already explained: I was arrogant. I had taken the things I learned at SSI for granted, and truth taken for granted may as well be forgotten. I fell in love with the program because it equipped me with real, hard truth on which God would build my destiny. When i forgot those truths, it stands to reason that the joy would be forgotten as well.
Little wonder why my life was so off track. Without the truth as my stability, my purpose had become fluid, and my destiny was like the leaning tower of piza. The clear vision i had for my future had faded, not because God had left me, as i felt at the time, but because I had taken the truth for granted.
And as i considered these things in the months since SSI 08, I realized that with the truth comes a greater calling. A calling that doesn't not apply just to me and my life, but to any person who attends SSI, or any place where they can learn Gods powerful and unchanging truth. Any person who is given such a gift is inescapably part of Gods divine plan, because such truth is not given without a reason. If God has given a person truth, then he has done so intentionally, not by some circumstance or accident.
With God given truth and a Kingdom- bringing purpose, a person has a divinely inspired Destiny, and everything they need to accomplish it and THEY HAVE NO EXCUSE!
We often say when we are entering a domain for which we don not feel prepared, that God will give us the strength we need, but if a person has the truth and a purpose, they have a destiny! Its not some miraculous event where we will be turned into a Great spiritual warrior for Christ; rather, if a person has those three elements, God HAS ALREADY GIVEN THEM all the strength and power they need.
We live in a world full of lies mistakes, and problems. This world is broken and weak and full of darkness. But the truth, when given by God is light. As Mr. Muffett explains, Light does not Run from Darkness, but rather it overwhelms darkness. The world is ripe and ready for change, and we have been the tool to change it... not Barak Obama Change, but the kind that is brought by the real Messiah. We have been Given a gift, and we have no excuse.
Segment 2: Firearms
"Don't think of it as `gun control', think of it as `victim disarmament'. If we make enough laws, we can all be criminals.
The possession of arms by the people is the ultimate warrant that government governs only with the consent of the governed."
Government- "If you think the problems we create are bad, wait till you see our solutions."
"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed."
-- Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist Papers
"Among the many misdeeds of British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest."
-- Gandhi
Segment 3: Spending
http://www.usa.canon.com/consumer/controller?act=ModelInfoAct&fcategoryid=215&modelid=17316
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPgYAn258c&eurl=http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1252230872&src=fftb
http://www.nintendo.com/wii/what
Segment 4: Budget
When I left my second job at Vinnai in June, I knew it would affect my finances but i didn't anticipate the level of spending that i would want to subject myself to when it came to the holidays. Obviously i have to budget Christmas Gifts, but considering my list this year, that wont be so hard. Its the things i want to Buy for myself that are creating the issue. I know that sounds selfish, but let me explain a little
In the above Segment "Spending" are links to the Big three (the items that are both expensive, and greatly desired).
The first is my Digital Camera, which i will need one way or another, as my old one is an inch from death. The Digital Rebel XS is the highest quality camera in its class, and has the better features compared to other brands (and is a little cheaper too). On is own the MSRP (manufacturer suggested retail price) is about $500. I've never been one to buy low quality and cheap, as shown by my knives, mp3 player and computer. If i'm gonna get something i'm gonna get the best i can. The upside to this, is my parents have agreed to go half with me on it. Even so i'm spending $250. I have always wanted a nice camera hanging around my neck with which i would be taking pictures constantly (min. 10 per day). It's kinda a dream of mine.
The second is my Firearm. The Sig Sauer P250. Considering our president elect, and a building fear of what my government will do in the future, i want to exercise my Second amendment rights while i can, and this is the most frugal way to do so. The P250 is the most affordable Weapon for its functionality Sig makes. There are cheaper brands than Sig, but i don't trust the quality. Sigs are carried by Police all over the world. Compared to the 1000+ that Sig charges for its other models, the P250's $699 is pretty dang good. Owning a weapon is a right i will fight for (one of many), and if nothing else, i want to learn how to proper defend my future (and present) family by any means necessary, hand, gun, bow, sword, whatever... this is a step in the direction of building my family in the future. I want it for the Principle of the matter.. as a statement, if nothing else.
The Last is a Nintendo Wii. Obviously, this is mostly for entertainment purposes, at $250-300. TO the observer buying one of these may be the least important, but even for it i have my reasons. I have wanted one for a while now, but suprisingly my mom has wanted one as well. The physical activity involved in some of the games makes it appealing to her as a family activity. I want it for the same reasons. I only have a few months before i leave for college, and i want to spend as much time doing things with my parents as i can. Sitting in the same room while mom studies, da putters around, and i work on my computer doesn't count. there aren't many activities we do TOGETHER as a family and a Wii could change that while there is still time. I really would like this so i could have some quality time with my parents.
Now my goal a year ago was to have $10000 before i went to college. i big goal for sure, but with two jobs it was attainable. Now i'm scaling it back a great deal, and i will be very pleased if i get to college with $5000 to my name. Considering my current accounts, and estimating potential income (assuming my income doesn't change) i wont be able to make much more than $1000 before i have to leave my Job. i'm not sure exactly how much i have right now as my funds are separated into three accounts, which i hope to consolidate soon, but id guess it around $4000. Adding up the expected costs, and not even counting in Gas for my newly attained car i'm looking at $1200 minimum. Its still possible i'll be able to keep $4000 for college, but i don't like how close i'm getting to it. I'm considering giving up one of my Big three, but i consider them all worthwhile expenses, and i wouldn't have the faintest idea which to give up; the dream, the statement, or the quality time.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Segment 5: Eyes
Another section of my "Hunter" story... i didn't have time to write much else after nanowrimo... haven't done much writing since it ended.
Hanna barely slept at all. Something about the room bothered her, but it also felt good. She felt like she was surrounded by someone, or someones feeling. She stared at Hunter all night, feeling that , though she didn't know him, she felt sorry for him. She wondered what he looked like and why he work the mask-helm. Any fear she felt about him had faded, and somehow his presence even dulled the pain of her lost Grandfather.
Without realizing she had dosed off, Hanna noticed that suddenly Hunter was gone. She bolted upright, then remembered what had happened yesterday morning. The fear of having to hyper speed through a whole city she didn't know in order to "catch him" again... He wouldn't do that to her, would he?
The small about of light that trickled in through the window illuminated the room enough to show that Hunter's coat and shirt were draped loosely over the table. Hanna looked back to where he had been sleeping and almost sighed in relief: there on the floor lay Hunter's helm. Curious, the girl looked out the window to see if she could see him. The first thing she saw was the fire that generated the light. And there was Hunter, on his knees beside the fire, face turned toward the stone that Hanna had noticed the night before.
Because of the light of the fire, Hunter's skin looked grey and jagged, like a charred tree. His Chest and head were completely without hair, so there was no color to contrast his skin. He touched the stone for a long moment, running his hand over the writing on its surface. It was only then that Hanna understood what the stone must have been.
Hunter stood quickly, taking his sword by the sheath in his left hand. Hanna watched as he slowly drew the blade, eyes closed, in the beginning of an intricate form. She was nearly put in a trance by the movement of his body and the sword, dancing together in the light of the fire.
Slowly the natural light began to grow and the fire to fade. As this transition happened, Hanna was surprised to notice that Hunter's color didn't change in the different light as she had expected. Then she realized that the tatters black denim of his pants hadn't been affected. It was not the firelight that had given Hunter his un-natural grey color; that was the color of his skin. She felt that she should be afraid of what this might mean, but something was keeping her from actually fearing him. Something about the room, and his movements and the stone.
Just as the the light of the sun negated the light of the fire, hunter opened his eyes and looked right through the window at Hanna. Eyes of Red.
Segment 6: Home
Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life you chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.
The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
These places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Segment 1: Personality.
A friend's Dad gave me this personality profile test, and i had a chance to take it: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgiwin/JTypes2.asp
I encourage everyone to take it. You may have to take it more than once, (i took it twice) for it to peg you, but once it does it really pegs you. Here is an exert from my profile:
"The Champion"
General: ENFPs are both "idea"people and "people"people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.
Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.
ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.
ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.
Segment 2: Watchmen
"The world will look up and shout "Save Us!". And I'll Whisper "No."Rorshach
"My orders are to fight, And if I win or bravely fail, What matters it? My orders were to fight..."
Segment 3: Temet Nosce
Watchmen
Personality Profile
Segment 4: Hiisime
November was a long month for me. I tried my hand at NaNoWriMo again. It's been some years since i have. I didn't do very well, but then again i'm not in the habit of writing regularly. i hade a few extraordinarily brilliant days and got my War of the eagle draft up to 90 pages, and will be emailing it out to a few of you soon. I'm hardly into the story yet at all, so the final is going to be very long (assuming against all reason that there will actually be a final). I have a passion for my sotry again, and the charachers are alive more now thatn ever before in my mind. Yet im still struggling to color thier lives ot on paper.
The family is going well, sort of. Thanksgiving functioned as a sort of "family christmas" so everyone could be where they wanted. The day after was spwnt with my other family, and again, things are ok there for the most part.
I Have Christmas "shopping" completely finished and not started at all. I know that sounds truly odd, bt its true... Between online orders and people who already have their gifts I'm done, but not i have to plan for christmas 2, 3, and 3.5. Christmas 2 is just me and my parents. Christmas 3 is extended family, and i add another half for all those peopel who im getting things for, but amd not directly celebrating with.
Driving makes the shopping a bit eeasier, but it has also made me realise just how little money i have. A camera and Firearm are in my spending future, and 10 hours a week isnt helping my accounts at all. I remember being able to shop last year and enjoy it because i didnt have to worry abot money. Not that i wasted it, but things seemed easier. My parents kep telling me im well ahead of the game with $5000 packed away for college, but i just dont feel it.
I at last have my firearm narrowded down. I satred out wanting a Walther P22, Taurus 27/7, and a Sig Carry. Now i have ruled out all walthers, and decided on the Sig P250. Its beautiful. But the more and more i try to obtain it, the harder things seem to get. I'm not giving up, but my hopes of having the Sig before the Innaguration are a little slim.
Segment 5: Mural Plains
Another confusing segment torn out of the context of my story and provided here for your endless befuddlement. THis is a scetch of a dream-place my main charachter goes to each night as he sleeps... dont read into it too much
Wind swirled around in the knee high grass, pulling the painted colors into the mixed fray of tones. He sky was a mural of black and grey, with soft fleck of white that moved and spun with the rest of the colors. Jason looked across he mural landscape, then at his own body, which appeared like a cave wall drawing, constantly in motion, though he never moved.
Jason
A voice was in the wind, not speaking or making a sound alone, but in the wind itself. Jason turned about, looking for the thing that had called his name. His body seemed to shift with the wind, like he wasn't solid. Ignoring the idd sensation the fluidity and color swirl were giving him, he answered the wind. “Where are you? What is this?” His mind filled with questions as his voice came out strangely, as if in someone else's tone.
You are asleep. Dreaming. As you have many times. It is here, in your sleep that I have been teaching you these past months.
“Teaching me? I don't remember anything like this happening before.”
You slept and were here for nearly a year. You woke up earlier than is ideal because things are happening around you now that you must be a part of. If you You have learned much as you journeyed through your dreams with me.
“But what good are the things I have learned if I can't remember them the next time?”
But you do remember, Jason. Its is only the memory of learning it that evades your mind. The knowledge is there, you simply have to use it. Tell me the word for tree in the old language.
“Beren.” The word rolled out of his mouth before Jason was able to identify it, as if he had said it all his life. A pang of curiosity and fear burst in his mind as a flood of other words began to form sentences. He mumbled the first string of words, curious if they would make more sense out loud.
“What is happening, that I had to awaken?” Was what jason had intended to say.
Its not for you to know such details, but rather to have a sound mind and be ready for any eventuality. The more you can learn, the better prepared you will be in the future, to face whatever may come.
“Learn...” Jason said, still chewing on the strange new words he used. “None of this makes any sense.”
It is good that you are questioning. To think and to reason; to know is why you have come here. You must look at everything the way you look at this, with an inquisitive eye. You have to think through every idea presented to you, whether a political idea, or a scientific theory. The purpose of knowledge is to discern truth. You came to me seeking that knowledge.
“I came to you? That doesn't seem right, this is, after all, my dream.”
I am in your dreams because you wanted me to be. A person isn't given knowledges without wanting it, though at the same time the kind of wisdom I offer does not come to anyone who wants it.
Jason thought that he should feel uneasy or apprehensive, but he couldn't muster the emotion. However strange it was, He didn't want to resist the words of the voice, or the draw of the mural plain he saw around him.
This gift, all of my knowledge, experience, and wisdom are yours. Other things that elude you know will be made clear in time. The only thing you can do now is choose whether or not you will trust me.
The strange, colored winds brought no scents, but their sounds were all that could be heard for a long moment. Jason felt the logic of his mind pulling him two ways. It was a dream, nothing more. But if it was a dream, why would it matter if he chose to follow the voice. A mental battle waged in his mind, each side with tis strong holds pushing and pulling, competing for the high ground. At length Jason finally spoke. “Show me everything,”
Segment 6: Remember
Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason, why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
Remember, remember, the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot!
A stick or a stake for King James' sake
Will you please to give us a fagot
If you can't give us one, we'll take two;
The better for us and the worse for you!
A friend's Dad gave me this personality profile test, and i had a chance to take it: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgiwin/JTypes2.asp
I encourage everyone to take it. You may have to take it more than once, (i took it twice) for it to peg you, but once it does it really pegs you. Here is an exert from my profile:
"The Champion"
General: ENFPs are both "idea"people and "people"people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.
Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.
ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.
ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.
Segment 2: Watchmen
"The world will look up and shout "Save Us!". And I'll Whisper "No."Rorshach
"My orders are to fight, And if I win or bravely fail, What matters it? My orders were to fight..."
Segment 3: Temet Nosce
Watchmen
Personality Profile
Segment 4: Hiisime
November was a long month for me. I tried my hand at NaNoWriMo again. It's been some years since i have. I didn't do very well, but then again i'm not in the habit of writing regularly. i hade a few extraordinarily brilliant days and got my War of the eagle draft up to 90 pages, and will be emailing it out to a few of you soon. I'm hardly into the story yet at all, so the final is going to be very long (assuming against all reason that there will actually be a final). I have a passion for my sotry again, and the charachers are alive more now thatn ever before in my mind. Yet im still struggling to color thier lives ot on paper.
The family is going well, sort of. Thanksgiving functioned as a sort of "family christmas" so everyone could be where they wanted. The day after was spwnt with my other family, and again, things are ok there for the most part.
I Have Christmas "shopping" completely finished and not started at all. I know that sounds truly odd, bt its true... Between online orders and people who already have their gifts I'm done, but not i have to plan for christmas 2, 3, and 3.5. Christmas 2 is just me and my parents. Christmas 3 is extended family, and i add another half for all those peopel who im getting things for, but amd not directly celebrating with.
Driving makes the shopping a bit eeasier, but it has also made me realise just how little money i have. A camera and Firearm are in my spending future, and 10 hours a week isnt helping my accounts at all. I remember being able to shop last year and enjoy it because i didnt have to worry abot money. Not that i wasted it, but things seemed easier. My parents kep telling me im well ahead of the game with $5000 packed away for college, but i just dont feel it.
I at last have my firearm narrowded down. I satred out wanting a Walther P22, Taurus 27/7, and a Sig Carry. Now i have ruled out all walthers, and decided on the Sig P250. Its beautiful. But the more and more i try to obtain it, the harder things seem to get. I'm not giving up, but my hopes of having the Sig before the Innaguration are a little slim.
Segment 5: Mural Plains
Another confusing segment torn out of the context of my story and provided here for your endless befuddlement. THis is a scetch of a dream-place my main charachter goes to each night as he sleeps... dont read into it too much
Wind swirled around in the knee high grass, pulling the painted colors into the mixed fray of tones. He sky was a mural of black and grey, with soft fleck of white that moved and spun with the rest of the colors. Jason looked across he mural landscape, then at his own body, which appeared like a cave wall drawing, constantly in motion, though he never moved.
Jason
A voice was in the wind, not speaking or making a sound alone, but in the wind itself. Jason turned about, looking for the thing that had called his name. His body seemed to shift with the wind, like he wasn't solid. Ignoring the idd sensation the fluidity and color swirl were giving him, he answered the wind. “Where are you? What is this?” His mind filled with questions as his voice came out strangely, as if in someone else's tone.
You are asleep. Dreaming. As you have many times. It is here, in your sleep that I have been teaching you these past months.
“Teaching me? I don't remember anything like this happening before.”
You slept and were here for nearly a year. You woke up earlier than is ideal because things are happening around you now that you must be a part of. If you You have learned much as you journeyed through your dreams with me.
“But what good are the things I have learned if I can't remember them the next time?”
But you do remember, Jason. Its is only the memory of learning it that evades your mind. The knowledge is there, you simply have to use it. Tell me the word for tree in the old language.
“Beren.” The word rolled out of his mouth before Jason was able to identify it, as if he had said it all his life. A pang of curiosity and fear burst in his mind as a flood of other words began to form sentences. He mumbled the first string of words, curious if they would make more sense out loud.
“What is happening, that I had to awaken?” Was what jason had intended to say.
Its not for you to know such details, but rather to have a sound mind and be ready for any eventuality. The more you can learn, the better prepared you will be in the future, to face whatever may come.
“Learn...” Jason said, still chewing on the strange new words he used. “None of this makes any sense.”
It is good that you are questioning. To think and to reason; to know is why you have come here. You must look at everything the way you look at this, with an inquisitive eye. You have to think through every idea presented to you, whether a political idea, or a scientific theory. The purpose of knowledge is to discern truth. You came to me seeking that knowledge.
“I came to you? That doesn't seem right, this is, after all, my dream.”
I am in your dreams because you wanted me to be. A person isn't given knowledges without wanting it, though at the same time the kind of wisdom I offer does not come to anyone who wants it.
Jason thought that he should feel uneasy or apprehensive, but he couldn't muster the emotion. However strange it was, He didn't want to resist the words of the voice, or the draw of the mural plain he saw around him.
This gift, all of my knowledge, experience, and wisdom are yours. Other things that elude you know will be made clear in time. The only thing you can do now is choose whether or not you will trust me.
The strange, colored winds brought no scents, but their sounds were all that could be heard for a long moment. Jason felt the logic of his mind pulling him two ways. It was a dream, nothing more. But if it was a dream, why would it matter if he chose to follow the voice. A mental battle waged in his mind, each side with tis strong holds pushing and pulling, competing for the high ground. At length Jason finally spoke. “Show me everything,”
Segment 6: Remember
Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason, why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
Remember, remember, the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot!
A stick or a stake for King James' sake
Will you please to give us a fagot
If you can't give us one, we'll take two;
The better for us and the worse for you!
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