I expect to be changed this year, as i was in the year past. Only this time I'm asking for the change; wanting it, waiting for it, anticipating it. I want to know Elohi. To be remade by him. I hate me, but not in a negative way. I have understood that everything i thought was me is forfeit, and needs to be taken away before i can be refilled by the good things i wish were me. No wonder I used to be so miserable.
This year i expect to find joy in all kinds of new ways. I also expect to feel pain that i havent yet felt. Neither of these changes who I am going to be in El Roi (the God who sees me). I can't let my life be defined by pleasure seeking; a striving to relive or remember past joys like a high person trying to find his next fix. Nor can i life based on the hardships i go thru. Life sucks, but El Hanne'eman (The faithful God) doesnt change; he is with me in my highs and my lows. He is my steady place.
This year i expect many momentous events. At least two i know of: My Class mission trip to Isra'el, and Graduation. These are two experiences that mark a commencement of sorts for me. I want to begin life after college so badly. El Chaiyai (God of my life) had blessed me with college. I started late and am still finishing before most of my peers. In fact i will be finishing early even for verity standards. It worked out perfectly for me to join my class late.
What do i expect this year? I honestly dont know. I didnt know what to expect from 2010, and, even with all of its hurts, I am glad things turned out the way they did. I love my Adonai. Thats the best place i can be. I can only ask for more of the same.