World

Segment 1: Facebook
Dont take this too seriously

http://www.xanga.com/Antien_Nathan/videos/ec8bd1012779/

Segment 2: Taxing

A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but
nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting
$100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to GOD, U.S.A., they
decided to send it to the President. The President was so
impressed,touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to
send the boy $5.00. Mr. President thought that this would appear to be
a lot of money to the little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the
$5.00 and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to GOD
that read: "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the
money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it
through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those JERKS deducted
$95.00 for taxes!.


Segment 3: Fark

www.fark.com

Segment 4: Shift
I love working eight hour shifts. I don't really have a reason why, but i cannot stand when I am scheduled for two hour shifts; the more hours the better, if you as me. However, this often leaves me feeling even more disconnected from things. I am away almost every night it seems, and if in mot I'm either too tired form working on my feet all afternoon, or have things that I personally need to do, such as study or blog.
I love my people. The people i have commitments too who consume my time. Let me explain: there are some people who i make a point of communicating with daily, no matter how much its going to take out of me, or what i have to bend to do so. People are always more important than tasks.
Things are going to change a lot for me this year, more so than ever before in my life, and so I am glad of my commitments to people now. When in college I feel myself getting busy, i'll be used to making time for the important people in my life.

Segment 5: Explanations

http://www.xanga.com/Antien_Nathan/693897030/explinations/

Segment 6: Kryptonite

I took a walk around the world to
Ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark
Side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do

I watched the world float to the
Dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
To do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
But your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

Pursue

Segment 1: Save
“Ask not what your country can do for you…”
The current political buzztopic the US is the soon coming "stimulus package". In it's most basic interpretation of the idea is for the government to reintroduce taxpayer money into the worlds economic and political market with the hope that that will aid in the healing of our wounded American economy. Is there any clearer image of "throwing money" at a problem? This seems to be very literally what our new government seems to intend.
This is merely the most currently prevalent example of a belief and practice system practitioned by the America populous collective. The idea that the Government can fix the economy, over which it has next to no constitutional jurisdiction, is only a art of a problematic governmental worldview. Why has it been deemed the responsibility of this elected body to correct the mistakes of globalizing a union based job economy?
The fact is that Americans expect more money to pay for things that are getting more and more expensive. The reason for inflating costs is a catch twentytwo, because manufacturers need to compensate for the decreasing number of sales because people cant afford to buy. I have spoken before on what a correct economic fix would look like, but this leads back to my earlier reference to an overarching expectation. Why do we expect our government to save us?
The economy is not the only place in which the people have turned to their elected officials to fix a problem that originated with the people. Illegal immigration, homosexual marriages, medical drugs banking and housing crisis, what is considered an assault weapon, even what sort of TV signal we are required to receive; these are all issues which the government had no stake in beginning or creating, yet which we have passed to them to decide. When did we decide that the government chooses those things?
In its most basic form, the US government is simply an organized body of people to represent us as its population. Without even considering constitutional definitions, the nature of such a representative body is merely to organize an act as the populous directs. If that is the case, how can they do any more that the people can? How can a government made of the people save the people from problems that they themselves have started? If such a government is expected to perform these actions, should it still be considered a democracy or even a representative republic?
Somewhere along the way in the past one hundred years, Americans as a society have developed a believe that the state will save them from their ills. My father once explained to me that America was a nation that once was willing to work and die for the simple right to decide things for themselves. Now we turn to our formerly representative government to fix our problems, and then blame them when things fall apart. After a long run as the richest nation on earth, we have become complacent. Things are easy when you are rich and safe. Things came cheap and easy to us for a while, because previous generations worked for them, and now we want to have our money and protection, and we want it for free, so we turn over the problems to the government, begging them to fix it.
The problem is like a disease with disastrous symptoms. Our nation has caught it and we need our elected leaders to heal our symptoms. If we had free health care, and housing, and lots of jobs and money, then everything would be better, and our American Utopia would be complete. Even if the government could heal the symptoms, which is highly unlikely, the problem would persist because the problem is not they symptoms, the problem is the disease. The disease is complacency and if is found in the heart of the American mindset.
Americans are promised life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness. A pursuit is not a given, not a guarantee, nor even an expectation, its an attempt. A pursuit is not cheap, or simple, or easy, or free. A pursuit is hard and long and difficult and does not always succeed. It requires diligence and perseverance, and is never given to anyone. The power of change does not lie with the president or congress or even the courts. The power to change is like the power of the American Government, only in this way: it is The Will if the People.

Segment 2: Stimulate
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at WalMart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase cleaning products it will go to save trees.
If you purchase medical products it will go to kill babies.
If you purchase stocks, or invest it, it will go to hell.
If you purchase fast food it will go to your waist
If you purchase a firearm…. Hmmm

Segment 3: Arms
Arms for every type of person:
For the feminine types:
http://www.jimsgunsupply.com/DuraCoat/dc/AK_HOT_PINK_DuraCoat.jpg
http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc156/556308/pinkrifles0511.jpg
For the Compensators:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgok30taYHhjQTxgLU7SSd4A5mf8gYrWvkE_YGR69RFUjboJJuCDz_nN-2_wViu3WfFdfce_y70nkQDUQtQR9XT1UrAqqqdNH5ooCUzTPAEjsYCKsOpBRGBVNYPpec5krFagygqKIj4BtvP/s400/really+big+gun.JPG
http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c2/Davis1950/Weapons/big_gun-1.jpg
For the Rambo wanna-be’s:
http://www.rusmilitary.com/images/dshk_hmg%20(2).jpg

For the Cowboys:
http://www.circlekb.com/merchant2/graphics/00000001/Western_Police.jpg

For the Sneaky:
http://www.weaponsblog.org/images/gun_69.jpg
http://news.thomasnet.com/IMT/archives/cell%20phone%20gun,%20Photo%20via%20US%20Customs%20Service.jpg
http://www.thehomegunsmith.com/pics/Pen_Gun_03.jpg

For the Skittish:
http://www.douglashenderson.com/100guns/Kolibri1.JPG
http://lh6.ggpht.com/abramsv/R6OxI-9HoOI/AAAAAAAAF2c/KFHE-wgRFG8/gun_59.jpg

Segment 4: Bachelor
The past few days my parents have been out of town. I had wanted to go with them, but work didn’t allow for that, so I stayed here in Lansing. While most of my time was spent away with friends and my other family, I enjoyed having the house to myself while I was there. My parents have done extended trips away before, leaving me alone in the house. Like most teenagers I actually enjoy these times, thought I believe for a slightly different reason than most.
While my parents were away, I made next to no use of my bedroom, opting rather to sleep on the floor of the family room, one floor below. I slept, ate, read, wrote, and lived in this room. For all intensive purposes, I used only this room, the bathroom and the kitchen.
Understand that while I live with my parents and they are home, I consider this “their house” and try to treat it with the proper respect accordingly. But the once in a while that my parents leave me here alone, I mentally change from “their house” to “my house”. I clean it and it stays clean, I get the mail, and take phone messages. If I had the money, I would gladly open the bills and pay for the costs of living here.
Only recently have I begun to interpret this as a desire on my part to live on my own. I love the way I can be when the house is mine. I enjoy the responsibilities of it. Don’t misunderstand, I love my parents and and don’t live for the times when I am “free of them”. But at the same time, it gives me satisfaction to look at a clean house that I can call my own. I long for the day when I am capable of sustaining myself. In some ways I hope I can be a bachelor someday.

Segment 5: Sable
http://www.xanga.com/Antien_Nathan/691525283/sable/

Segment 6:Devour
Take it and take it and take it and take it and take it all
Take it and take it and take it until you take us all
Smash it and crash it and thrash it and trash it
They're only toys
Try it youll like it dont hide it dont fight it, just let it out
Steal and shoot it and kill it or take another route
Take it and take it and take it
You know theyre only toys

Devour ,Devour
Suffocate your own empire
Devour, Devour
Its your final hour

Devour, Devour
Stolen like a foreign soul
Devour, Devour
What a way you go!

You want it you want it you want it you want it
Well here it is
Everything, everything, everything
Isnt so primitive
Take it and take it and take it and take it and take it all

Belong

Segment 1: Beauty
In the past few months I have been forced, in a manner of speaking, to learn more about myself as a person, while observing new things about the people I see around me. One of the things I have become convinced of is that no person Can be really, truly happy without some form of beauty in their life. By beauty, I mean Something that a person can find real and pure joy in, whether filtered or not. Were I a theologian, I might make the argument that all Beauty comes from God, and can be found therein. While I do believe that, for the sake of this entry, it is not my subject of interest.
This idea comes from conversations and observations of my Sisters. One in particular, who I will use for this example, often floods my email in box with pictures of the world around her, for which I am grateful. She has been blessed to be the kind of person who can find beauty in nearly anything in the world around her. "Rose Colored Lenses" she sometimes calls it. She rejoices with every new blanket of snow, loving the beauty of the white, of the diamond glistening ice, in spite of the unavoidable trouble it causes her on the road. I enjoy hearing here memories of each day, because in her eyes, so many things are so beautiful, and for that she is one of the most joyful people in my life.
When I first began to observe my sisters gift of seeing beauty in her world, I wondered if I would get annoyed with it. For a time I almost expected too; but, in contradiction to my expectation, my desire to become closer to this sister grew and grew as time passed.
There are truly too many people in this world who aren’t really happy anymore, and according to my theory, there are equally too few people who can see beauty as readily as my younger sister. Regardless of whether the world sees them or not, there are countless ways and forms in which beauty will take.
A person could see beauty in themselves physically, emotionally, and intellectually, not in a vain way, but being able to find joy in who and what they are. This, it seems, is an increasingly rare occurrence among a certain demographic, primarily consisting of teenagers, young women, and physically "out of shape" people. These people, when they stop seeing that they have beauty somewhere in themselves, and thus begin to look down on themselves, drag themselves into a form of depression, and no real happiness is found in them.
There are those who find beauty in the intellectualities of the world. They look into the science of things, discovering the wonderful intricacies that were created so as to sustain life for us; or find joy in the deeply rooted facts of history. The mathematicians who take simple numbers and combination concepts to from complex equations that solve insurmountable problems. The Thinkers, studiers, researchers, and testers of our world, who find beauty in knowledge and understanding.
I wont be so arrogant as to say that I know all the different places that beauty can be found, or ways to find it. On the contrary, I think that everyone, each individual, has a spesific type of beauty that they seek, or find best. Not to say that they are limited solely to that form, but as a guide-rule. I will use my own understanding as an example.
As I mentioned before I felt myself growing closer to my sister to whom beauty was readily available. After several conversations with her on the subject, I realized that, while I couldn’t see the beauty she could, or rather I didn’t see it, I was able to experience it through her. When I thought of this, I began to look more closely at the people whom I was close to. I then noticed that when I was around those people, thought I may not have been able to find joy in the things they did, I was able to feel joy because they were. As a “people person” this makes sense to me, while at the same time explaining why there are so many people I truly dislike. I cannot abide people who cannot see outside of their own problems. I also have a distaste for unoriginal “cookie cutter” copycats who do not think for themselves. In this context, my social tastes make even more sense. Those who are blind to any sort of beauty in their life, whether by training, or by self centered focus don’t interest me. Because I find my joy in the people I am around, by seeing their joy, the people I meet who have to genuine joy or beauty in their life feel empty.


Segment 2: Father
These are quotes from my Dad, thus proving that even the most “level headed” and “quiet” person can be truly unusual in the right circumstances.
(My mom was preparing a vest for My Dad’s costume for the Celtic Ball, from an existing woman’s vest. (be aware that women’s clothes button on the left, men’s on the right))
Mom: This is Just about Finished.
Dad: No it isn’t. The buttons are on the wrong side.
Mom: They are on the women’s side
Dad: Right, like I said, the Wrong side.

“Men are from Venus, yeah, whatever…”

Me: I’m not going into a restaurant in Kalamazoo wearing a Kilt.
Dad: What if we find a nice Celtic, or Irish Restaurant?
Me: Celtic Restaurant? Like What?
Dad: MacDonalds!

Segment 3: Employ
After an economically low year, people working for nonprofit organizations, and donation-reliant groups should expect to feel hardships. As a former employee of such and organization, I know first hand. Being at the bottom of the food chain a SSI, I expected that I would be expendable if things got lean, so I wasn’t really surprised when Jeff called me into his office and told me I was laid off. I had Prepared for that inevitability, and was neither shocked nor insulted.
That night I began the process of finding and filling out applications to every place I could think of, from Meijer to Subway to Barns & Noble. With both of my previous Jobs, no applications was ever required of me, and I was hired without much work or question. I was awake until 2:30 Tuesday morning filling out online applications. Overall I did more than 20, both online and hard copy. Tuesday was spent driving around Lansing to all the places that did not have online application capabilities.
As a rule, the only places I would not apply were fast food places, excluding Subway and Quiznos, for heath reasons. I wouldn’t advise anyone to eat such greasy, synthetic, metabolically unstable foods, let alone work with them on a daily basis. Sub Places, on the other hand, are generally less chemical and grease ridden. But they are also limited franchises, and you must apply on a store by store basis. I was dreading having to make 5 or more copies of my applications to take to all of the locations of these stores I could think of.
Luckily the second Subway I went to was hiring, and seemed actually in need of help. Alas, before I was even home, they had left a messages on our answering machine, and I was able to schedule and interview for the next day.
Again, having never done a proper application, not interview, my experience on the subject is limited, but to me the interview was quite short. Consisting of only two questions, one about a typo on my application, I was in and out of the store in five minutes. Only two days after being laid off, I was able to find another job. I start Wednesday at 7 AM at Subway. Yay for Employment.
Segment 4: (Special Edition) Karma
Now I don’t really believe in karma, but this week alone has led me to question the order of things. The month so far has been unusual to begin with, and has made an interesting opening to a new year.
The Celtic ball was a wonderful two day event which I cannot even begin to describe, no matter how much I wish to. Hopefully our plans come together and another such ball takes place here in Lansing sometime soon. But, as though karmic fate, the night after the ball I came down with a cold that has held me for more than a week now and refuses to leave no matter what I throw at it. It also left my family and I very tired, and hence very grouchy over the past week.
As already reported on Monday I was let go from my job at SSI. However shortly before that happened, my three month old downloads of M*A*S*H and Friends the TV shows finally completed, while I was at work, no less
In my errands Tuesday I had planned to take my checks to the back to deposit. My first mistake was forgetting that I had switched banks, and thus wasting what little Gas I had. The second mistake I made was counting the total of my checks, which surpassed my expectations and left be very pleased with myself. Once I did get to my bank, though, I found I had left the checks at home.
Wednesday morning I met with an old Manager from Vinnai, who offered me a place in a Multi level marketing program for ACN Communications technology company. Potentially I could make $5000 a month in the program legitimately, but the time and energy it takes to get there, makes the offer less appealing. I haven’t decided on it yet.
I left that meeting and went to pick up my new glasses, which were merely a replacement frame for the old ones I broke. Having to wear someone else glasses for a few weeks was annoying, and I was glad to have a pair of my own back. But while I was in the glasses place, my car was backed into, taking out my right turn signal lights. I don’t know who back into me.
Friday I arranged to spend the day with Laura and her student Hudson sledding. In order to get to their Haslet home by 11 am I left at 10:30. When I was less that 2 minutes away, I lost control of my newly repaired car and went into a ditch, tearing down several yards of barbed wire fence, which tore off my right side view mirror.
After being towed out of the ditch at Lauras expense, we enjoyed a wonderful day of sledding, both with Hud, and then again later with the Bacon family. But one again, in order to balance out the fun I had to hit my head on the back of the sled on my last run, and cause myself serious back problems, as well as a brutally sore neck.
I hope the rest of the month doesn’t continue this pattern


Segment 5: Genesis
Part 1: Progenitor
"These will have to stay with us, Kayne." A burly, over sized vampire guard, taking two ebony shortblades off my back, while another, spindlier leech continued to search me for weapons. The Council trusts me. I thought as my four combat knives were taken from their hiding places on my person. Why else would they wait till I was just outside their Sacred Hall to search me for weapons. I had already made it onto the mobile space station from which The Council ruled. Most of the time, an armed person wasn't allowed near the station.
"What's this?" The smaller vampire withdrew a small item from the holster on my back, beneath my cloak.
I smiled, feigning innocence, though I knew there was little point to it. "It's called a handgun. Its an old world weapon." The look of confusion on the guard's face made me laugh. I was joined in laughter a moment later by the larger vamp, as he examined the weapon.
"It's a mere .22 Caliber, hardly a threat to the Progenitors." He handed the pistol back to me after ejecting the clip and emptying the chamber "I'll even let you keep it. You can go in now"
With a smile I walked through the high glass-framed doors, to a small, totally white room. Here, I knew I had to wait. The Progenitors where control freaks, who would make a person wait even if it meant the end of the world, just to put that person in his place.
In all honesty, the word "progenitor" was backwards for the situation. The people I was about to see where young, comparatively. They were merely hosts. The Council, in reality, was more than One hundred Thousand years old, a bit younger than myself. As I have said before, The council chose medical means to preserve their wretched lives. It has been so long, and they were so old, that their bodies barely existed anymore, and their minds were preserved by some kind of machine. But in order to maintain authority of their the genetic races, the four origin races had to be represented. So The Council chose the best of each of the races, who's mind and will were taken from them, and now act as the mouthpieces of the Council. These chose are called the Progenitor. Without them, the Council has really no ability to act or do anything.
A dresses opening appeared at one end of the annoyingly white room, and I made my way through it. The Progenitors Throne room was something I had seen before. Four chairs with high backs, made of interweaving, ornate metal wires. In each chair sat a Progenitor.
"You should be honored for this meet, Kayne," Said the Dinosaur- like Deltox Progenitor, in a raw, gravely voice.
The silvery feminine voice of the Varial-Human continued the sentence without a pause, "Few ever are granted audience,"
"And even fewer come before us at their own will or leisure." Finished the vampire progenitor. Before the words of the sentence had echoed from the air, all four Progenitors shifted their blank, unblinking stares from fixed points on the wall behind me, looking instead, directly into my eyes. I suppressed a shudder, as I forced myself to bear the gaze of the four. Their eyes had always bothered me, as though the were screaming at me for something, though the rest of their faces remained emotionless.
"Why have you come here?" Asked the Elf Progenitor in a booming voice, which echoed through the room far longer than normal.
After a very brief, polite pause, I spoke with all the authority I had, "It has come to my attention that you and your scientists have finally achieved that which I have strived for these many long decades.
"Have you indeed found a way to walk between worlds?"
With a tick, all four Progenitors necks twitched simultaneously. "We have Breached the gate which, until now barred us from entering the world from which we came," The Elf began,
"And even now we cannot return there, but only call to that world," The Vampyre hissed
The Varial Continued the strange, unified thought. "Our call goes forth to bring to us a pure-genetic human, of Atlantean ancestry,"
"So that we may at long last complete the Genetic code of perfection, and thus create the perfect being." The Elf Said again, before another group twitch erupted from four right hands.
With a single, unified voice all four said, "Why?" Drawing out the question eerily.
I held myself firm, not allowing yet another shudder to quake across my shoulders. "I have searched and employed all manner of research on this subject. Perhaps, if you were to give me the secret to it, with time I could find the key to opening the gate home completely, so that we may return to Our Atlantis, to rebuild the great civilization we had there for the humans that remain, and-"
"No!" The four voices cried, filling the hall with their great volume.
The Varial Progenitor began a new thought, her voice rushed and angry, though her "The human has already been called fourth from that world,"
"The humans of that world are violent and proliferant both in numbers and destructive means,"
"As we once were,"
"Were we to endeavor to return,"
"The people we rule would doubtless return to their violent ways,"
"To their own destruction."
"As ageless as you are, Kayne,"
"Your surely remember the desolation,"
"Human bring about,"
"When left to their nature."
"So we must once again ask you."
"Why?"
Save for the last word, which was a unified voice, the jumping from voice to voice happened so quickly that I had a hard time understanding what was said, let alone which said it. After a moment, in which I gathered by thoughts and recovered, I answered them. "Whether or not they would destroy themselves or enumerate the worlds, that is not the decision to be made by anyone but the people themselves. If they Wish to return, give them the option, at least. For myself, I am Atlantean, through and through, for this reason only I seek to return, if nothing else to rebuild a homeland that is more precious to me than life itself. And if my desire were to be granted it would serve the greater purpose of allowing The people their history and home back." There was a moment of silence after my speech concluded. I felt a little proud of myself at having out-debated them.
Without warning, the Vampire spoke, "So we see,"
"So we understand." The Deltox finished that phrase before the four once again began their mixed speaking of the same sentence.
"The people's will is to be safe and secure,"
"Not fear of destruction"
"This has been our guide these many thousand years past,"
"The people must be protected,"
"And for so many generations"
"That task has been designated to this council."
When I was sure they had finished, I still took a pause, to try and understand their meaning. "You would deny them their past, nay even their own will?"
All I could tell for sure was that the Elf was the first to speak "It has been many generations since Atlantis,"
"The people will have well forgotten,"
"As indeed, they should have,"
"The remnant of their decadent past,"
"As to their will,"
"Whether the people wish to return,"
"Is irrelevant,"
"In order to assure security,"
"The people must not be allowed to be harmed,"
"Even harm they wish to bring upon themselves,"
"The people must be protected,"
"From the will of the people,"
A jolt of anger mixed with terror hit me. "But then-" I tried to interrupt
"You, a nearly immortal ancient," The Elf cut me off
"Must surely have understood this,"
"And so,"
"Your reasoning must be a facade,"
"For your true intentions."
They Paused
"You were the Ruler of Atlantis." Said the Varial Progenitor.
Though her words had not come as a question, I answered. "Yes I was, but-"
"Then it is our understanding,"
"That you wish to return the people to Atlantis,"
"Solely in order to regain power over them,"
"And thus subvert our power here,"
"In an act of defiance to our authority,"
"You have been branded a traitor,"
"Kayne-Ra"
My hand twitched behind my cloak, feeling for the empty gun. This couldn’t be what I thought it was. "Ra?" I asked, only to verify what I thought the term meant.
"Ra,"
"A title given to enemies of the council,"
"Deemed punishable by any means,"
"Including death, curses, imprisonment, and banishment."
I dropped my head, staring hard at the ground for a moment, still hoping I was misunderstanding what they were saying.
"None may subvert our authority,"
"Even these Progenitors,"
"These vassals of ours which stand before you and speak to you now,"
"Are all men and women of great and powerful minds and intellect,"
"All of whom stood against us,"
"And are now doomed to be slaves to our will,"
"Their freedom and will taken,"
"Forced only to observe as we use their bodies as our greatest weapon,"
"The Progenitors."
The Rippling of shock, fear and horror inside my stomach lit on fire, burning my heart. "I understand." These people were all fully conscious, aware of their actions, with no control over them. Prisoners. "I understand now." my anger barely touched my voice, holding it back just a few moments longer. "I understand what I have to do to serve you," I bowed to the Progenitors. "I’m sorry." The whisper echoed softly from my lips.
In that heartbeat, my channeled all of my focus into the one abnormal ability I had. Given enough adrenaline, my mind can slow time. Though my body can move no faster than anything else, it gives me time to assess a situation completely.
I ran my finger along the engraving at the end of the barrel, reading the words carved there: "Walther P22 .22 Caliber". The guard had been right, it was a small caliber, and hardly any threat to the powerful Progenitors. If I didn’t make each shot lethal, then it would be wasted. That means I had to hit all four between the eyes.
The Deltox posed a larger problem. Its genetics were best suited for extra-planetary life, meaning its bones were weak and brittle. To make up for this deficiency, a Deltox's skin is tough, and they are hopelessly strong. I'd have to shoot him point blank, barrel to nose in order to make and difference at all. And if it got even one hit on me, it was over. The same strength applied to the Vampire and Elf, Making the Human the easiest target.
Varial Humans are barely human at all, but they are strong in magic, and if I didn’t catch Her off guard, then she would doubtless be able to catch the bullet in air with her mind, meaning she had to go first, before she could build a defense. The Elf would be fast. The Vampire would stay at a range, probably being cocky as ordinarily this type of weapon is incapable of killing him, magically empowered creature that he is. Fortunately I embed the Walther with a fire augmentation, in the hopes that I might someday use it as a Gate catalyst so I could return to Atlantis.
I could feel the effects of time speed up, and at the last moment Before it returned to normal, I flipped the Walther from behind me, catching it backward into my right hand, and brining the hilt of the gun up to the magazine I had hidden beneath my shoulder plate. Just as time reached normal speed, I hit the latch, loading one Bullet into the chamber and fired at the Varial. Before the empty shell was ejected from the chamber, the Elf was upon me, and I only had time to block His powerful blow, catching his hand with the hilt of my pistol, before driving it into his nose, producing a loud, sharp crack.
As he recoiled from the pain, I twisted, lifted my left arm to drive the spike of my Gauntlet into the Elf’s throat. The resulting spray of blood coated the left side of my back.
The Deltox Struck for the gun, missing, but still causing me to lose my grip on it. As it flipped into the air, I deflected a hard blow from his Monstrous fist, catching The gun by the barrel, and, using it as a club, struck for the soft skull. My opponent blocked, and I dropped the gun, grabbing it with my other hand to strike again, at the same time blocking his blows. For several seconds we struck and deflected, He trying to get any possible hit on me, as I used my firearm as a club, switching it from hand to hand, searching for a blow to his- Crack! My makeshift club connected with his left cheekbone, and I could feel the fracture run up the side and back of his skull. He staggered back, writhing in pain, as I pressed the barrel of the gun between his eyes and squeezed the trigger.
I turned from the Deltox’s limp body, to find the Vampire standing only a few feet behind me. A small, confident smile rose on His face as I pointed the gun at him. “The punishment for this shall be great, I assure you. These bodies you have slain thank you. Even know I feel the will of this person I inhabit crying for you to kill him. The price you will pay for the death of the old Progenitors, will be the life of the new one.”
As He spoke, I could feel magic fill the room, wrapping itself around me, and digging into my soul.
“The boy we have called fourth, the one who will be our perfection. We have proclaimed him our new Progenitor, our Angel Of Life, and he will do our will. For your crime, as long as he lives, you shall live. In order to maintain your life, you must maintain his, and so maintain our rule over this world and our people. This is your curse.”
Pain flooded my body, and I struggled to keep the Vampyre in my sights, as I could feel my life binding to another’s.
“It’s a shame, really,” Continued the vampyre. “That you didn’t bring a weapon capable of killing me.” It smiled.
Even through the pain I croaked, “Are you sure of that?” before I pulled the trigger. The smile didn’t even leave his face as he fell to the floor, dead. A moment later I tumbled to the ground, writhing as at the pain of what felt like all the atoms of my body being separated. It was the first of many feelings I would have that were not my own.
The torture continued for what seemed like years. I know it was some time, but in that kind of pain I didn’t know how long. At last it was relieved and I could feel the softness of the mind and soul of this person I was now bound to. He was… young… innocent…
“What is his name?” I asked myself. The answer floated through my mind peacefully, like I had known all my life. Firefly. Antien. Nathan.


Part 2: Alyssa
12:29:42 AM Loves0question: What are you still doing up, Little one?
12:29:55 AM ask0the0question: u get to stay up, why can’t i
12:30:05 AM Loves0question: I don’t sleep, remember…
12:30:12 AM ask0the0question: Yea… well… I just cant tonight either
12:30:59 AM Loves0question: *sigh * need some company? I wouldn’t mind having someone to talk to, since anna and laura are in bed.
12:31:03 AM ask0the0question: yay ill come over there youhave a bigger bed
12:31:12 AM Loves0question: ok
12:31:24 AM ask0the0question: yay
12:31:25 AM ask0the0question: ill be there in a sec

I quickly shut of my computer, after logging off my brother’s old AIM screen name that he had given me. Come to think of it, my laptop had once also been my brothers, before he bought himself a new one with his open house money.
When I got to his room, The first thing I noticed was the depressed look on his face, which was hardly lit but the light from his laptop. As I got closer to him, the light also made his shoulder shine, like it was wet. It was also red. “Nate!” I ran over to him, climbing onto his bed and carefully examining what was obviously another bullet hole. Another Bullet hole. I took his chin in my hand, making him look at me instead of the computer screen. “What happened?”
He sighed, but still looked me in the eye. “More mages.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. I’m his life, I am one of the few people who know about Nate, or what he can do and what he really is. Rather, I’m the only person who does. He may be transparent, but he is good at hiding things.
“Are you ok?” I eyed the poorly wrapped wound.
He turned his face back to whatever pirated movie played on his computer. “I’m fine.”
I gently poked the hole, not liking the way it looked at all, “Are you sure?”
He took my hand, suddenly, combing his fingers in my hair. “Alyssa” He looked at me with his ‘tame lion’ gentleness and a convincing smile. “I’m all right”
“But I’m going to have to do surgery on you again to get the freaking bullet out, aren’t I?” I asked, rhetorically. I looked back at him for a moment. “You need to shave.” I said, running a disapproving finger over his facial hair. “You look scruffy, and not in a good way.”
He laughed, “So I’ve been hearing, recently. I’ll shave tomorrow, I promise.”
“Really?! Awesome!” I paused for a few seconds to watch the movie with him. When I still couldn’t figure out what it was I scanned his computer screen. VLC media player was in front, over a Full Metal Alchemist Anime desktop background, and three open chat windows. One was mine, the other Anna’s, and the third was Laura’s. “Do you leave their chat windows open all nigh? Laura signed off more than two hours ago, and Anna isn’t really talking much.”
“I just forget to close them.” He said, “x”ing out of the windows to patronize me.
Another few moments of silence passed, as some important bad character in the movie was shot, and died and the credits started rolling.
“Can I see them?” I said, now that I wasn’t interrupting anything.
He looked at me, one eyebrow lifted in confusion. “What?”
I shrugged, “You know, your…” I paused and waved my hands beside my body, looking a little ridiculous. I blushed and the dumb gesture.
Nate laughed “It’s a good thing I know what this means?” He said, waving his hands in an imitation of me.
“Shut up,” I hit him on the stomach, playfully and smiled. “So..?” I left the question in the air.
Growing a solemn, he shifted away from me slightly and I watched as the façade of skin that everyone else saw melted away, and the compact black feathers of his neatly folded wings became visible. I moved out of the way, as he unfolded them slightly, leaving just enough room on the bed for his body, myself and the computer.
I ran my hand along the upper ridge of bone, from where it connected between his shoulder blades, to the first joint, which functioned like an elbow joint. I ran my face against the downy feathers at his back, combing the coarser ones lower down with my fingers.
Since I had found out about his wings and all the other stuff, Nate and I had become a lot closer. Probably closer than most biological siblings get. Not in a gross way, but being the typical fifteen year old girl, the thought of having a super human big brother was way too awesome for words.
“Why are you shaving tomorrow?” I asked, pulling at the thought that had butterflied in my mind all day.
Twisting so I was still between his wings, but he could face me, his confusion and curiosity crossed his face again. “You just asked me to. And tomorrow seemed like a good time”
I Shifted nervously. “So you are doing it for me? As a gift?” I asked, trying to avoid bringing up this conversation, but still hoping he would guess. He did.
“You don’t have to remind me that tomorrow is your Sisson Birthday.” He said with a smile. I blushed, happy that he hadn’t forgotten, and embarrassed for thinking he had.
My “Sisson Birtday” was the day I officially became Nate, Abby, and Zach’s little sister. Mr. and Mrs. Sisson, Mom and Dad now, had adopted me six years ago.
For the first few years, attention seeking, happy, twelve year old third born Nate and I didn’t get along. To make a long story short, he wasn’t the youngest anymore, and on some level he didn’t like me for stealing his spotlight as it were. It didn’t help that he and I were very similar in some ways, yet drastically different in others.
However, by the time he was fourteen and I was eleven, we got along just as good, if not better than we did with Abby and Zach. That year comes to mind in particular because that was the year “it” happened. Between his first two weeks at SSI, in July of 2005, Nathan became Antien. They are the same, but he and I use two different names because whatever happened that summer, which he doesn’t even completely remember, drastically changed him. That’s when he discovered how different he was.
It took me another two years to get him to tell me everything. For a year and a half now I have shared my brothers secrets, happily for the most part.
Coming back to the matter at hand, I decided to be a little precocious, which he often lets me get away with. “So…” I said with a cheeky smile, as my hand massaged the long muscle that ran along his back down his ribcage, which no other person had, as far as I knew, “Did you do anything for me… Other than decide to shave, like you should have done months ago?”
His Knowing, older brother smile returned. “Its after one in the morning,” he said, lifing me and pulling me a bit closer with his wings, on which I rested. “So it is your birthday, and I can give you what I had planned.”
I smiled excitedly as he ran his thumps along my cheek up into my hair. I began to wonder what he was doing as his fingertips ran along the ridge of my ear. Then I realized my ear didn’t usually seem that long, because I continued to feel his hands on them as they went much higher than my ears did. I reach up to touch my them, but jerked my hand away when I found they came to a point. Cautiously I felt them again. My eyes widened as I ran my fingers up and down my ears over and over again. The bottoms were the same, but the tops rose up out of my hair and came to a neat point. My ears were just like his were, when he wasn’t hiding them.
With an excited laugh I tackled hugged him, and I could feel both his arms and wings wrap around me. “I Would give you wings, but its taken me several months just to figure out how to do that.”
A tingle of happiness sparkled all through me for a few minutes as I continued to squeeze him as hard as I could. “But how am I going to explain them?”
“You can hide them, just like I can.”
My excitement overflowed again. “Really?!” He laughed, gently peeling me from around his neck. “Thank you, Nate. This means… more than you can understand.”
He smiled gently, reaching up to play with my new eartips. “I do have a slightly more practical gift for you, tomorrow. One you can use with others around.”
I giggled. I felt so stupid and embarrassed for being so enthusiastic compared to the general happy calmness he had been showing these past few months. I attempted to relax, resting my head on his shoulder. I suddenly realized how tired I was.
Without needing to ask, he folded his wings around me in a warm, soft feather of blankets. I started falling asleep immediately. The last thing I heard was Nathan’s soft whisper. “Sleep well, little one.”

Segment 6: Never
This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late


The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Anymore

Segment 1: Transform
Its no big secret that, as a general principle, i cannot stand people in my own age group. Granted there are exceptions, but as I don't make a practice of Judging people in groups, exceptions are bound to happen. It is not contradictory to say that i "don't like people my age" then to say that I don't judge people in groups, as it might seem. A general characteristic that is overlayed on my generation, is the sheep-like, cookie cutter mentality that public schools generate. The fact is I can judge a good portion of the population, without ever meeting them, because they are trained to be clones of one another. Teenagers are sheep, they follow each other around.
One of the most common "issues" among my age group, is authority. Teens on the whole continually shout for "independence", they want to be treated as adults who are unique and individual people. They want to be able to choose for themselves who they are going to be, to make their own identities, which they usually model after their friends. In simple terms, the sheep want to be free to follow each other around pointlessly.
In an attempt to gain their individual identity by force, young people have begun forming their own subcultures, specifically designed to be different from one another. The Jock, the nerd, the em, the goth, the prep, whatever it may be, are all expressions of either blind conformity or ignorant conformity. Blind conformity is exactly what its name suggests, an unknown, automatic acceptance that everyone is supposed to be the same, and the adjustment to become like everyone else. Ignorant, or reverse conformity is when a person seeks to be different, and thus changes who they are to counteract what they see as "the norm". The argument is that a person can only be unique if they aren't like anyone else. While the idea itself may be wrong, it isn't the cause of their conformity. They say that they are unique because they are different, but they have modeled themselves as opposites, allowing what they don't want to be to shape what they are. A person who changes their body, act differently on purpose, or accomplishes something for the sole reason of being different, has allowed something to shape them, and they are not being who they are. Conformity, for this article, will be defined as allowing something to shape or mold you to a specific way that is not your true or original form.
Sociology defines Socialization as "the process by which a persons identity and personality are formed". What a truly devastating prospect that is. The entirety of who we are is circumstantial? Perhaps there is truth in that if i had different friends, or had gone to public school, i would be a very different person, but would I not still be the fun-loving, emotionally dramatic, generally weird, pleasantly creepy person I am? Whether or not the sociological truth of socialization is true or not is debatable; however, because of its common use, it seems that society believes it. I am who I am because of where I am.
This is a very humanistic, evolutionist idea, which perhaps explains why so many people subscribe to it. Because if it is true, the there is no such thing as true individuality, there is only adaption, and we are all various forms of the same animal. How very sad.
Now one might think, due to my abhorrence of the Public education/Liberal, Government sponsored indoctrination system, that I blame the Public Schools for the development of carbon copy people. It is logical to assume this, as the process of mass producing education can only result in mass producing minds that are all very similar and do not know how to truly find themselves. I would say that people taught to think, but in fact they are: they are taught how to think and what to think, and any person who thinks differently, or disagrees with the common thought is intolerant, and therefore should not be tolerated. But I digress.
Here is a simple fact about me and my political ideas. I don't blame the public schools for anything. The are merely and extension of the federal and state governments, who I also do not blame for anything. I'll say that again: I do not blame the government for anything. You see, I believe that the government, state, federal, or local, is not America. The people are America, and the people truly control the country. This is the foundational idea behind my personal political ideology. Any problem in America is the responsibility of its people, not its government. The problem is that the people of America have become lazy and apathetic.
We complain about the government, Blaming our problems on it, But we forget that we are the foundation of this nation, and have passed our responsibilities to a governing body we created, originally, to serve us. See the flaw? We give our national problems tot he government, for them to fix, even though we blame the government for causing them. This is a sign of a weak minded and lazy citizenry.
We created Public education, so that everyone could be educated to the same common level for free, so they never have to learn the difficulty that learning really is, because we were just to lazy to force ourselves to be educated the hard way. The nation that was founded on the desire and work brave men to become independent, now relies on a social system built on common conformity and dependence on a government to socialize and educate the individuality right out of us.

Segment 2: Help

"Never ask customer services or tech support if you are being an idiot, the answer violates their 'friendliness policy'"

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds."

"I am good at everything... Except birthing babies" Tim Hunt

Segment 3:
http://www.gsnt.org/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3R7wNyrWCA&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G725c8If_k4

Segment 4: Driven
This past week or two have been very simple for me, yet at the same time i have had to face things i wasn't ready for. Typically my worries are present and material, meaning they are worries about what is happening now and what is going wrong. The lack of activity over the past twelve days for me was very relaxing, but it gave me time to contemplate and analyse things that I hadn't really expected to.
Every few months i will look in the mirror and see an entirely new and different person than before, and thats not a bad thing. But what i only now am beginning to understand is that these changes i see in myself, wether others see them or not, are going to change what i do about things, and what i want to do. So, inevitably, i am facing losing/giving up things that i used to love and want.
I had planned on missing week two of SSI this year, for a family gathering for my Grandfathers 80th birthday. Now i am wondering if there was a point in doing any of the three weeks. There are things and people and memories from years past that both make me want to go, and stay away at the same time. Also, having done literally everything but instruct and act as a chaperone, i wonder what my purpose in going would be? As i feel like a different person every few months, i don't know who or what i will be come june, or how i will feel about SSI. For now i feel that my time there has come and gone, and i need to move on.
I have given up my financial goals because of the lack of one job, but now it seems that i may need to find a second job anyways, as my current one may not last. Thins are a bit up in the air when it come sot my employment, and i recently shelled out a substantial amt of money for a few things (see last post*). I would appreciate prayer as i look for a new job.
I once again have a new set of friends than i did some months ago, and these friends have brought me a little internal peace. my relationships with my older friends have all changed, generally in a good way, though there are exceptions.

On saturday, i spent most of the day with my family (Eruseldon's) sledding and talking, and generally doing family things. Then I drove an hour and a half to Adiran for a party, which I enjoyed despite some awkward moments. The most exciting part of the day, however, was on the way home form adrian. round about 11. It had been snowing nearly an hour, and i was the only car within sight on US 127. Apparently the deer that crossed in front of me was more comfortable on the road than i was. I thought of the phrase "deer in the headlights", which i always took to mean a shocked, terrified look. Never again will i use the phrase for that. I caught the creatures eye just before i swerved, and i swear to you, it looked like it was challenging me. Cockly, 6 point, bambi freak.
Anyways I swerved to avoid twig-head, which i did successfully, at the cost of my control over my Buick. I'm so glad i didn't get that tiny, lightweight car i wanted for its gas mileage. In any case, i was still going fast enough to cause my car to do two complete rotations on the road before stopping. I didn't end up in he ditch. i sat there for five minutes while my heartrate slowed, the got out to make sure i didn't do anything to my car (which i have named Persivle, by the way). Still no one was in sight, so i just drove away. i was a bit jumpy and didn't go above 55 for the last half hour i drove, but i made it in one piece, then preceded to leave the indoor dome lights of my car on over the weekend. I blame the deer.

Segment 5: Antien
Sometimes he wondered why he had the two expansive wings which grew six feet each form his back, yet folded down to be concealed beneath his dark leather coat. Flying was easier without them, though he made a regular practice of using them anyways, so the new muscles that controlled the feathered limbs wouldn't atrophy. At this moment, though he wished he could use them to counteract, and perhaps change the massive wind current that brought torrent is snow down from the clouds. If he created enough wind, perhaps he would blow the snow away and wouldn't have to shovel... He shivered intentionally, to give the appearance of being cold. It wasn't as though the wind or snow, or even cold usually bothered him, he'd just as soon leave it be and go inside, but his car would never be able to get out of the garage with so much snow on the driveway. He hated pretending too need the old silver Buick to get around, but the masquerade was nessesary. Alot of apearances were. Even now he was focusing on maintaining an alchemic reaction which concealed his long, pointed ears, sharp teeth, and the two horns which curled up a quarter inch form his lower lip. The reaction also make is face look a little red, and caused a drip of liquid to run from his nose (the part he hated most), all to give the impression to anyoen who may have been watching, that he acually was cold and shoveling hte snow was difficult. It was ironic that he had to spend more energy to make it look liek hard work, than to actually do the work.
He tensed as he felt it. The meteor entering earch atmosphere, headed, generally, in his direction. He always felt these thing happen, it was like a seventh sense. "Limited kinetic precognition" Alyssa had once called it. That inexpicable knwoledge he had of thins movign around him. This was the fouth Astrological event that he had to prevent since thanksgiving. Someone was calling them, but not magically, he would have noticed (that was his sixths sence, detecting metaphysical activity).
He quickly scanned the immediate area again to make sure no one was watching, then listened for satalite signals, to see if anyonw was watching that way. After a biref moment, when he was satisfied that no such onlookers were present, he released a buste of kenetic energy from his feet, pushing him into the air toward the oncoming space rock, simultaneously dropping the reaction that hid his nonhuman features, and releasing his wings, whish tore off his coat as they streched and expanded....


Segment 6: Air
Well if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend
But I don't know if you know who I am
Well I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe of the grin
I know where you've been
Its all been a pack of lies

I can feel it
Coming in the air tonight
Hold on
I've been waiting for this moment
For all my life
Hold on, Hold on

Well I remember
I remember don't worry
How could I ever forget
Its the first time
The last time
We ever met
But I know the reason why you keep me silenced up
No you don't fool me
Cause the hurt doesn't show
But the pain still grows
Its no stranger to you and me

Places

Segment 1: Destiny
This Past year at SSI (and everywhere else, i guess) was humbling for me in a way. Having distanced myself from the emotional problems and stress that came up over the summer, I can now look back at what I learned at SSI and put it in its proper perspective.
I went in with a bit of a Chip on my shoulder, to be honest. I had been there enough times that i knew it all and had done it all and wasn't concerned about learning anything. Being neither ADC proper, nor Staff proper, i allowed myself to skip teaching session and chapel if it bored me. Its odd that I view something that happened 5 months ago as "my foolish childhood". I had forgotten the truth that underlies everything at SSI.
The first year i went, when i was still innocent for the most part, I had come away with a Passion and fire, but because is was still "soft" i lost it though what I learned never left me.
The constant theme of SSI is "Truth, Destiny, and Purpose". By the end of the week, alot of emphasis is placed on Destiny, and for a long time i considered my destiny something that was mutually exclusive. But in reality, You cannot have any one of the three, without the other two, or if you do the end result will be misguided.
Anything done without truth finds its bases in falsehood, and has no stable foundation. No God-inspired destiny can be built without a foundation. Neither can ones destiny be achieved without purpose. Both attempts will result in living aimlessly and will bear no fruit.
I used to wonder why i fell in love with SSI my first year, and why it lost its drive the years that followed. The reason for this I have already explained: I was arrogant. I had taken the things I learned at SSI for granted, and truth taken for granted may as well be forgotten. I fell in love with the program because it equipped me with real, hard truth on which God would build my destiny. When i forgot those truths, it stands to reason that the joy would be forgotten as well.
Little wonder why my life was so off track. Without the truth as my stability, my purpose had become fluid, and my destiny was like the leaning tower of piza. The clear vision i had for my future had faded, not because God had left me, as i felt at the time, but because I had taken the truth for granted.
And as i considered these things in the months since SSI 08, I realized that with the truth comes a greater calling. A calling that doesn't not apply just to me and my life, but to any person who attends SSI, or any place where they can learn Gods powerful and unchanging truth. Any person who is given such a gift is inescapably part of Gods divine plan, because such truth is not given without a reason. If God has given a person truth, then he has done so intentionally, not by some circumstance or accident.
With God given truth and a Kingdom- bringing purpose, a person has a divinely inspired Destiny, and everything they need to accomplish it and THEY HAVE NO EXCUSE!
We often say when we are entering a domain for which we don not feel prepared, that God will give us the strength we need, but if a person has the truth and a purpose, they have a destiny! Its not some miraculous event where we will be turned into a Great spiritual warrior for Christ; rather, if a person has those three elements, God HAS ALREADY GIVEN THEM all the strength and power they need.
We live in a world full of lies mistakes, and problems. This world is broken and weak and full of darkness. But the truth, when given by God is light. As Mr. Muffett explains, Light does not Run from Darkness, but rather it overwhelms darkness. The world is ripe and ready for change, and we have been the tool to change it... not Barak Obama Change, but the kind that is brought by the real Messiah. We have been Given a gift, and we have no excuse.

Segment 2: Firearms

"Don't think of it as `gun control', think of it as `victim disarmament'. If we make enough laws, we can all be criminals.
The possession of arms by the people is the ultimate warrant that government governs only with the consent of the governed."

Government- "If you think the problems we create are bad, wait till you see our solutions."

"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed."

-- Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist Papers

"Among the many misdeeds of British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest."

-- Gandhi

Segment 3: Spending

http://www.usa.canon.com/consumer/controller?act=ModelInfoAct&fcategoryid=215&modelid=17316

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsPgYAn258c&eurl=http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1252230872&src=fftb
http://www.nintendo.com/wii/what

Segment 4: Budget
When I left my second job at Vinnai in June, I knew it would affect my finances but i didn't anticipate the level of spending that i would want to subject myself to when it came to the holidays. Obviously i have to budget Christmas Gifts, but considering my list this year, that wont be so hard. Its the things i want to Buy for myself that are creating the issue. I know that sounds selfish, but let me explain a little

In the above Segment "Spending" are links to the Big three (the items that are both expensive, and greatly desired).
The first is my Digital Camera, which i will need one way or another, as my old one is an inch from death. The Digital Rebel XS is the highest quality camera in its class, and has the better features compared to other brands (and is a little cheaper too). On is own the MSRP (manufacturer suggested retail price) is about $500. I've never been one to buy low quality and cheap, as shown by my knives, mp3 player and computer. If i'm gonna get something i'm gonna get the best i can. The upside to this, is my parents have agreed to go half with me on it. Even so i'm spending $250. I have always wanted a nice camera hanging around my neck with which i would be taking pictures constantly (min. 10 per day). It's kinda a dream of mine.

The second is my Firearm. The Sig Sauer P250. Considering our president elect, and a building fear of what my government will do in the future, i want to exercise my Second amendment rights while i can, and this is the most frugal way to do so. The P250 is the most affordable Weapon for its functionality Sig makes. There are cheaper brands than Sig, but i don't trust the quality. Sigs are carried by Police all over the world. Compared to the 1000+ that Sig charges for its other models, the P250's $699 is pretty dang good. Owning a weapon is a right i will fight for (one of many), and if nothing else, i want to learn how to proper defend my future (and present) family by any means necessary, hand, gun, bow, sword, whatever... this is a step in the direction of building my family in the future. I want it for the Principle of the matter.. as a statement, if nothing else.

The Last is a Nintendo Wii. Obviously, this is mostly for entertainment purposes, at $250-300. TO the observer buying one of these may be the least important, but even for it i have my reasons. I have wanted one for a while now, but suprisingly my mom has wanted one as well. The physical activity involved in some of the games makes it appealing to her as a family activity. I want it for the same reasons. I only have a few months before i leave for college, and i want to spend as much time doing things with my parents as i can. Sitting in the same room while mom studies, da putters around, and i work on my computer doesn't count. there aren't many activities we do TOGETHER as a family and a Wii could change that while there is still time. I really would like this so i could have some quality time with my parents.

Now my goal a year ago was to have $10000 before i went to college. i big goal for sure, but with two jobs it was attainable. Now i'm scaling it back a great deal, and i will be very pleased if i get to college with $5000 to my name. Considering my current accounts, and estimating potential income (assuming my income doesn't change) i wont be able to make much more than $1000 before i have to leave my Job. i'm not sure exactly how much i have right now as my funds are separated into three accounts, which i hope to consolidate soon, but id guess it around $4000. Adding up the expected costs, and not even counting in Gas for my newly attained car i'm looking at $1200 minimum. Its still possible i'll be able to keep $4000 for college, but i don't like how close i'm getting to it. I'm considering giving up one of my Big three, but i consider them all worthwhile expenses, and i wouldn't have the faintest idea which to give up; the dream, the statement, or the quality time.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Segment 5: Eyes

Another section of my "Hunter" story... i didn't have time to write much else after nanowrimo... haven't done much writing since it ended.

Hanna barely slept at all. Something about the room bothered her, but it also felt good. She felt like she was surrounded by someone, or someones feeling. She stared at Hunter all night, feeling that , though she didn't know him, she felt sorry for him. She wondered what he looked like and why he work the mask-helm. Any fear she felt about him had faded, and somehow his presence even dulled the pain of her lost Grandfather.
Without realizing she had dosed off, Hanna noticed that suddenly Hunter was gone. She bolted upright, then remembered what had happened yesterday morning. The fear of having to hyper speed through a whole city she didn't know in order to "catch him" again... He wouldn't do that to her, would he?
The small about of light that trickled in through the window illuminated the room enough to show that Hunter's coat and shirt were draped loosely over the table. Hanna looked back to where he had been sleeping and almost sighed in relief: there on the floor lay Hunter's helm. Curious, the girl looked out the window to see if she could see him. The first thing she saw was the fire that generated the light. And there was Hunter, on his knees beside the fire, face turned toward the stone that Hanna had noticed the night before.
Because of the light of the fire, Hunter's skin looked grey and jagged, like a charred tree. His Chest and head were completely without hair, so there was no color to contrast his skin. He touched the stone for a long moment, running his hand over the writing on its surface. It was only then that Hanna understood what the stone must have been.
Hunter stood quickly, taking his sword by the sheath in his left hand. Hanna watched as he slowly drew the blade, eyes closed, in the beginning of an intricate form. She was nearly put in a trance by the movement of his body and the sword, dancing together in the light of the fire.
Slowly the natural light began to grow and the fire to fade. As this transition happened, Hanna was surprised to notice that Hunter's color didn't change in the different light as she had expected. Then she realized that the tatters black denim of his pants hadn't been affected. It was not the firelight that had given Hunter his un-natural grey color; that was the color of his skin. She felt that she should be afraid of what this might mean, but something was keeping her from actually fearing him. Something about the room, and his movements and the stone.
Just as the the light of the sun negated the light of the fire, hunter opened his eyes and looked right through the window at Hanna. Eyes of Red.


Segment 6: Home
Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life you chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.

These places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Segment 1: Personality.
A friend's Dad gave me this personality profile test, and i had a chance to take it: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgiwin/JTypes2.asp
I encourage everyone to take it. You may have to take it more than once, (i took it twice) for it to peg you, but once it does it really pegs you. Here is an exert from my profile:

"The Champion"

General: ENFPs are both "idea"people and "people"people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.

Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.

ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.

ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.


Segment 2: Watchmen

"The world will look up and shout "Save Us!". And I'll Whisper "No."Rorshach

"My orders are to fight, And if I win or bravely fail, What matters it? My orders were to fight..."


Segment 3: Temet Nosce

Watchmen

Personality Profile

Segment 4: Hiisime

November was a long month for me. I tried my hand at NaNoWriMo again. It's been some years since i have. I didn't do very well, but then again i'm not in the habit of writing regularly. i hade a few extraordinarily brilliant days and got my War of the eagle draft up to 90 pages, and will be emailing it out to a few of you soon. I'm hardly into the story yet at all, so the final is going to be very long (assuming against all reason that there will actually be a final). I have a passion for my sotry again, and the charachers are alive more now thatn ever before in my mind. Yet im still struggling to color thier lives ot on paper.

The family is going well, sort of. Thanksgiving functioned as a sort of "family christmas" so everyone could be where they wanted. The day after was spwnt with my other family, and again, things are ok there for the most part.

I Have Christmas "shopping" completely finished and not started at all. I know that sounds truly odd, bt its true... Between online orders and people who already have their gifts I'm done, but not i have to plan for christmas 2, 3, and 3.5. Christmas 2 is just me and my parents. Christmas 3 is extended family, and i add another half for all those peopel who im getting things for, but amd not directly celebrating with.

Driving makes the shopping a bit eeasier, but it has also made me realise just how little money i have. A camera and Firearm are in my spending future, and 10 hours a week isnt helping my accounts at all. I remember being able to shop last year and enjoy it because i didnt have to worry abot money. Not that i wasted it, but things seemed easier. My parents kep telling me im well ahead of the game with $5000 packed away for college, but i just dont feel it.

I at last have my firearm narrowded down. I satred out wanting a Walther P22, Taurus 27/7, and a Sig Carry. Now i have ruled out all walthers, and decided on the Sig P250. Its beautiful. But the more and more i try to obtain it, the harder things seem to get. I'm not giving up, but my hopes of having the Sig before the Innaguration are a little slim.


Segment 5: Mural Plains

Another confusing segment torn out of the context of my story and provided here for your endless befuddlement. THis is a scetch of a dream-place my main charachter goes to each night as he sleeps... dont read into it too much

Wind swirled around in the knee high grass, pulling the painted colors into the mixed fray of tones. He sky was a mural of black and grey, with soft fleck of white that moved and spun with the rest of the colors. Jason looked across he mural landscape, then at his own body, which appeared like a cave wall drawing, constantly in motion, though he never moved.
Jason
A voice was in the wind, not speaking or making a sound alone, but in the wind itself. Jason turned about, looking for the thing that had called his name. His body seemed to shift with the wind, like he wasn't solid. Ignoring the idd sensation the fluidity and color swirl were giving him, he answered the wind. “Where are you? What is this?” His mind filled with questions as his voice came out strangely, as if in someone else's tone.
You are asleep. Dreaming. As you have many times. It is here, in your sleep that I have been teaching you these past months.
“Teaching me? I don't remember anything like this happening before.”
You slept and were here for nearly a year. You woke up earlier than is ideal because things are happening around you now that you must be a part of. If you You have learned much as you journeyed through your dreams with me.
“But what good are the things I have learned if I can't remember them the next time?”
But you do remember, Jason. Its is only the memory of learning it that evades your mind. The knowledge is there, you simply have to use it. Tell me the word for tree in the old language.
“Beren.” The word rolled out of his mouth before Jason was able to identify it, as if he had said it all his life. A pang of curiosity and fear burst in his mind as a flood of other words began to form sentences. He mumbled the first string of words, curious if they would make more sense out loud.
“What is happening, that I had to awaken?” Was what jason had intended to say.
Its not for you to know such details, but rather to have a sound mind and be ready for any eventuality. The more you can learn, the better prepared you will be in the future, to face whatever may come.
“Learn...” Jason said, still chewing on the strange new words he used. “None of this makes any sense.”
It is good that you are questioning. To think and to reason; to know is why you have come here. You must look at everything the way you look at this, with an inquisitive eye. You have to think through every idea presented to you, whether a political idea, or a scientific theory. The purpose of knowledge is to discern truth. You came to me seeking that knowledge.
“I came to you? That doesn't seem right, this is, after all, my dream.”
I am in your dreams because you wanted me to be. A person isn't given knowledges without wanting it, though at the same time the kind of wisdom I offer does not come to anyone who wants it.
Jason thought that he should feel uneasy or apprehensive, but he couldn't muster the emotion. However strange it was, He didn't want to resist the words of the voice, or the draw of the mural plain he saw around him.
This gift, all of my knowledge, experience, and wisdom are yours. Other things that elude you know will be made clear in time. The only thing you can do now is choose whether or not you will trust me.
The strange, colored winds brought no scents, but their sounds were all that could be heard for a long moment. Jason felt the logic of his mind pulling him two ways. It was a dream, nothing more. But if it was a dream, why would it matter if he chose to follow the voice. A mental battle waged in his mind, each side with tis strong holds pushing and pulling, competing for the high ground. At length Jason finally spoke. “Show me everything,”



Segment 6: Remember

Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason, why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

Remember, remember, the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot!
A stick or a stake for King James' sake
Will you please to give us a fagot
If you can't give us one, we'll take two;
The better for us and the worse for you!

Nanowrimo

Nov. is National Novel Writing Month, and in participating in it, i have decided to work on The War of the Eagle every day, in hopes to get from my current 68 pages to 100 by the end of the month. THis being the case, this will be my only blog in the month of November.

Enjoy the Robbeness.


YOU fill in the blanks about ME, even if you don't have any idea what they are, and send it back to ME. But first post a blank one so all your friends can return the favor to you....if you have time, go for it!

My name:
Who is the love of my life:
Where did we (love of life and I) meet:
Take a stab at my middle name:
How long have you known me:
When is the last time that we saw each other:
What do I drink:
When is my birthday:
What was your first impression of upon meeting me:
Do I have any siblings:
What's one of my favorite things to do:
Am I funny:
What's my favorite type of music:
What is the best feature about me:
Am I shy or outgoing:
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
Do I have any special talents:
Would you consider me a friend/good friend:
Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what):
What is a memory we have once had:
Have you ever hugged me:
Do you miss me...do you think i miss you:
What is my favorite food:
Have you ever had a crush on me:
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:
What's your favorite memory of me:
Who do I like right now:
What is my worst habit:
If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what one thing would I bring?
Are we friends:
Will you repost this so I can do it for you?: