To those people who would say "Hey, well all the religions are the same,

…all roads lead to G-d anyway,”

What about the diferences?

“Well its all about love.”

Islam is not about love, it’s about submission. (and blowing up kids)

Christianity is not about love, it’s about reconciliation.

Buddhism is not about love, but escaping suffering.

Hinduism is not about love, but escaping the illusion of the world.

Love may be significant in each, but it is not the central message of each.

Why think a modest similarity is more important than the massive differences.

Growing in Thirds

I went dancing tonite for the third time with the State Swing Society. The first time I went, in costume, I was stiff. I left early cause I couldnt ask anyone to dance and couldnt make myself dance unless I knew that I knew how to do ti right. I couldin't relax, so I couldn't enjoy it.
Seven years. Seven years is about one third of my life now. I look back at that interval. Fourteen years ago I was seven years old. I don't remember anything from before then. Not a thing. At all. I remember a cake for my eight birthday. I think thats My earliest memory that I can recall without the aid of pictures to show me.
I remember Blake Chappel, who I considered my best friend. I remember feeling so dumb compared to him, but I was eight, and I didn't care. I was a Dumb kid. I used to feel ashamed of my childhood, not because I was a terrible child (though i might have been) but because i saw how really dumb I was. But at the time I thought I was dumb, and I didn't care. I knew when I was seven that I didn't know some of the things the other kids did. And I LOVED it. I was the weird, crazy, talkative, off the wall kid. I lived in my imagination.
Seven years ago I was fourteen. I'm not sure what happened this year, but things changed. I changed. I started that process of growing up. Maybe it was SSI, maybe it was changed in my family life, maybe it was something else, but for sure it was G-d in HIS sovereignty, shaping me into who he wanted me to be. However, whenever, why ever, that year my brain caught up. If there is any intelligence, any logic, any skill in me as far as thinking goes, it becan to develop when I was fourteen. I Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, argued like a child; now that I have become a man, I have finished childish ways." That verse fit me.
But with this most recent third of my life, I was an adult. Yes i made mistakes before, but they were the mistakes of a child: breaking two of moms china bowl in less than five minutes because I set them in the same place on the counter; bashing my head against a mailbox post cause I wasn't looking where I was going. As an adult, the mistakes you make are more subtle, but much bigger.
With my ability to think I slowly lost my childhood. That is obvious if you think about it. I no longer was content with being dumber, even if it meant I was no longer care-free. In fact I became quite the opposite of care free; you could say I became care-intensive. From fifteen to seventeen I became depressive because i over-thought everything. yet still had my childhood selfishness. Everything was about me, and when you think as much as I did, everything becomes bad.
By the time I got to my first job at sixteen, i was known by the people at work as "the guy who killed his inner child". No more naivete, which was good, no more dumbness, which was good, But also no more joy. No more carefree willing ness to accept life. I thought i was still that child, but I had become a hardened adult.
Through events In my life after high-school my heart was thawed and refrozen and thawed again as people came and went from my life. Now here I am, looking back on twenty-one years. I was Toad, then Nate, now Nathan.
I've swung through two extremes. I look back on the fourteen year old kid. Nate. He was so full of life. I sometimes think I dont experience half of what he did as I see the world. Sure, I've been more places, done more things, but there is a lot i haven't really SEEN.
As I danced tonite, the third time with this group, I was told i was too stiff. I was. I am. But I let go. For a while there, dancing with Vikki and Monica and the other girls who's names i have forgotten (yeah, that sounds good), I was able to dance. It may not seem like it to any reader, but for me it was big. I didn't have to know how to do the moves. I did them. I even kept time, but I wasn't trying to. I did part of a Martial Arts Kata to a song. I lookd so stupid, but I didn't care. I was fourteen again.
No, I'm not Nate, the carefree fourteen year old. I have harder eyes, a stronger body, and a more discerning heart. But for a few hours, to the right music, with the right people, I could dance.
I don't need angels to talk to me, to speak in a forgien toung that I don't really know, or get slain in the spirit. I can dance. I can close my eyes and say to G-d, "I'm a kid again. Look, G-d, I can dance. You made me to do this. You made me to see the world through hard eyes and thoughtful discernment, but you also made me a carefree kid. And that kid, who you made, is dancing."
I miss that kid i was sometimes. I miss being carefree and loose and lost in the world. But I like who I am, the conglomeration of that dumb kid, that selfish teen, and now this adult. I like who G-d made me.
If that makes any sense.

The Book that gives hope. (Why I'm not a charismatic theologian)

“The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart.” Where do you go to find joy? Where do you go to find happiness? Where do you go to find relief from sorrow, relief from depression, relief from anxiety? Where do you go? The Psalmist says, the voice of God says, “Go to the Word.”

 We’re not left without principles for life. People say, “Doctrine doesn’t matter.” Oh it matters. What does it mean to have a Bible and not understand its principles? You don’t want to wander around in a fog of human opinion. You have a true Word to follow.

And what is the product of this if you go on the right path? Rejoicing the heart. True joy, true joy. My joy comes from what I know to be true about God and His purposes. John writes, 1 John 1:4, “I write these things unto you that your joy may be full.”

I don’t need voices from heaven. I don’t need miracles. I don’t need to talk to angels. I don’t need supernatural experiences, neither do you. We don’t need visions. I don’t need to have some kind of vision to boost up my faltering faith. I know from the Word of God what is true, I know the path of truth in which I walk and in that path of truth I find my heart rejoices. Depression, anxiety, fear, doubt comes from not knowing, not believing, not trusting the truth revealed in Scripture.

 

(John MacArthur, "God's own defense of scripture")

Snow adventures Vol. 1

So today coming out of work after our first snow of the season, my car was iced over. I didn't have a scraper in my car.
I worked on Halloween and we were allowed to dress up. I donned my pirate costume for the second time. As I work at a family atmosphere grocery store I was hesitant to wear my metal sword and knife, but brought them anyways, just in case i would be allowed. After work that night I was bringing my costume parts in, but accidentally dropped my 8" fixed blade dagger under my carseat, and so it was not brought in.
As I searched for my ice scraper, lo and behold i discover my knife! Having no proper scraper, and being the knife-nerd I am, what do you think I did?
My knife worked wonderfully as a scraper, and I am sorely tempted to keep it in my car until I can find my proper scraper. What do you think; Mideval knife as a Ice Scraper: Genius or Idiocy?

Characteristics of Hyper-fundamentalists

First, hyper-fundamentalists often understand fundamentalism in terms of loyalty to an organization (IBLP), movement, or even leader (Bill Gothard). They equate the defense of the faith with the prosperity of their organization or its leader. Someone who criticizes or contradicts it is subjected to censure or separation.
Second, hyper-fundamentalists sometimes adopt a adamant stance regarding some extrabiblical or even antibiblical teaching. [Seven steps to prosperity, courtship, girls wearing only skirts. etc.] …When individuals become adamant over such nonbiblical teachings, they cross the line into hyper-fundamentalism.
Third, hyper-fundamentlists understand separation in terms of guilt by association. To associate with someone who holds any error constitutes an endorsement of that error.
Fourth, hyper-fundamentalists are marked by an inability to receive criticism. For them, questioning implies weakness or compromise. Any criticism — especially if it is offered publicly — constitutes an attack. (Young people being sent away or outcasted for thinking and disagreeing with an extra-biblical stance)
A fifth characteristic of hyper-fundamentalism is anti-intellectualism. Some hyper-fundamentalists view education as detrimental to spiritual well-being…. Colleges, when they exist, are strictly for the purpose of practical training, or must be controlled by the standards of the leader or organization. (Verity)
Sixth, hyper-fundamentalists sometimes turn nonessentials into tests of fundamentalism. For example, some hyper-fundamentalists assume that only Baptists should be recognized as fundamentalists…. One’s fundamentalist standing may be judged by such criteria as hair length, musical preferences, and whether one allows women to wear trousers.
Seventh, hyper-fundamentalists occasionally treat militant political involvement as a criterion for fundamentalist standing. During the 1960s and 1970s, anticommunism was a definitive factor for some fundamentalists. Its place has now been taken by antiabortion and antihomosexual activism. Most fundamentalists do agree about these issues, but hyper-fundamentalists make militant activism a necessary obligation of the Christian faith.
Eight and last, hyper-fundamentalists sometimes hold a double standard for personal ethics. They see themselves engaged in an ecclesiastical war, and they reason that some things are permissible in a warfare that would not be permissible in ordinary life. They may employ name-calling, half-truths, and innuendo as legitimate weapons. They may excuse broken promises and political backstabbing.
Hyper-fundamentalism is the modern equivalent of pharisaical spiritualism. Most tenants of Hyper-fundamental teaching are good thoughts or ideas that are blown far out of proportion. These rules, laws and methods of living are not bad in and of themselves; the problem though is when the the theology behind them. Theology is everything. How a person (or organization) views G-d will define their Methodology (what that person or organization does and how they live). Hyper-fundamentalism, by its nature, misses the theology of the Gospel. We are saved by grace, not by any ammount of right living or works. Having standards is great, but we WILL fail those standards, and even if we do not, we are still damned outside of the sacrifice of Yeshua. Grace alone through faith alone.

21

This year has actually been a good year for me. So much has happened. I can acutally say that I'm not remotely where I thought Id be.
I started learning a new language.
I've been to Washington DC, on my own, paying for myself.
I met a girl named Jade and a Dragon named Ember.
I was named Aiden.
I've been to Israel, twice.
I've Graduated from College.
I've healed from a broken heart, and subsequently fallen in love again.
I enlisted in the United States Navy.
I have been led deeper in my relationship with G-d through the Holy Spirit (by study and theology, not by apostolic gifts or babbling in tongues)
My twentieth year has been the first year that I've really moved. It's been incredible, albeit emotional and hard, to walk forward. I've trusted (whether i meant to or not) in the Sovereignty of G-d; He has led me to this point, and by His will I stand here.
I could babble on about this, but the point is this: In spite of everything, this has been a good year, and I wouldn't change it.

A 21 Year Old's Prayer

G-d,

I'm a bit empty and alone right now. I have found you to the extent I have searched for you. You are faithful to me even in my lack of devotion to you. I will trust in your providence, relying on you to take care of my still fragile heart. 

I have before given such great and glorifying prayers to you, but now am ashamed to see how little honor my ways bring to you. Yet the glory is still yours because you saved the wretch in me. No great treasure did you earn in saving me, but the worst and filthiest of rags. And even knowing the disappointment I'd be, you died for me. 

I do not seek you in your word, nor do I come to you in prayer. It seems to me that my life is in shambles and my heart still broken into many pieces. Oh how poor a son I am. How I wish I could be a son that you could rejoice in. Yet my betrayals stand out all the more.

I want to know you, but my strength to seek you has passed. I wish I could say "Tomorrow will be better," but I know that I will fail another promise if I vow to be better in the morning. I am overcome with my weakness and sorrow. I want to be whole, complete, and I know that only comes from you.

I ask for alot, and you already show mercy to me by sustaining my life, a gift I forfeited long ago in my sin. Yet still I press your grace to ask for yet more. This hole in me is more than I can fill. I do not have the strength to seek you, yet that is the only way to fill my emptiness. My heart yearns to be held again. I miss the company of friends, people who care about me who i could pour myself into. Yet I know that those friends have been a idol to me in the past, a drug.

My Adonai, grant me a fill for this loneliness in my heart. Bring me into the company of people who will point me back to you, while allowing me to rest and belong with them. Fill my heart again.

I pray to find you, so I can be filled with you and thus give you glory. I can think of no better thing.

These words I lift before you, broken, yet trusting in your faithfulness, Oh, G-d, my father.

For you, Great King, are faithful.