So this is being a grown up...

I'm a married, employed, financially stable "adult". When did this Happen?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

April 13- Someone you wish could forgive you

Too big of a list,
Dear... everybody,
I have no idea where to start... honestly...

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Snowglobe

Life is a snow globe, with everything like a flurry, out of control and unstoppable around us. Don't worry. G-d owns the snow globe.

The Past

I praise אדני, G-d of the future as well as the past. For the first time in a while I look forward in HIS provision rather than looking back

I Suck

My hope is built on nothing less than Yeshua's Blood and Righteousness. The greater the revelation of my sin, the more I must acknowledge what G-d has done for me in H'Meshiach. Now I'm free.

Pragmatics

Righteousness works. Righteous parenting rears godly children, G-d Centered ideology brings strong culture. Yet these are not the reasons Believers walk in righteousness. The bible is not a field manual for prosperity; hard times will come. The Christian pursues rightousness not out of self service or obligation, but out of love for a Savior and a hatred of the sin that killed that savior.

Promises

Promises from people are fragile. (Ex. "I will never walk away from you,") Cling to the promises of scripture instead (Ex. Mishlei (Proverbs) 1:23 Repent when I reprove- I will pour out my spirit on you, I will make my words known to you)

Childhood

I really want to be an Adult. To do adult things. To make and adult life. Job, house, wife, etc. I would love that. Now i just have to wait till G-d thinks I'm ready.

Hosanna

Greek Osanna transliterates from Hebrew Hosha na, which means "Please!Save us!"

Depression II

Anyone who glorifies himself is taking glory away from G-d; and anyone who glorifies the problems they have is an idiot taking glory from G-d.

2010

I was going to prepare a long post about what this year has meant to me, but decided against it.

2010: God saw me through. That’s all that needs to be said anymore.

Note

Dear people all over the internet,

RAWR does not mean I love you. It means we are pissed off and hungry.

Sincerely, Dinosaurs.

Depression

It's an age old feeling, one that makes you want to stop. Stop moving, Stop eating, stop thinking. And, as old as it is, every time you feel it, the hurt feels new.

Past

It can be odd: It may hold alot of pain, some scars, burnt bridges and betrayals. You look at it, knowing it is unreachable, and even if it were, that it wouldn't be the same.

Yet how much would you give to go back to that time. Those faces (that walked away from you), those places (that you acted stupidly), the things you did (that you were never very good at).

Yes, you want to go back, but you don't want to go back. How odd.

Praise

God does not care how we feel in worship. His presence does not rely, influence, or hinge on how we feel. Worship is for HIS glory not for our feelings.

Emotion

Emotions which are extraordinarily fickle; they change minute to minute, and day to day. Don't use them as reason for life decisions

Pain

Some hurts last a lifetime. Not just the ones others cause you, but the ones you cause others. Never underestimate the power a little pain has to forever change the course of someone's life. In the end you could be responsible for that pain, and all the damage it does. Forever. You can try to fix it, to fix the damage you have done to that person life. You never will.

Fulfillment

Do hard things. Life isn't about You. Do some things you don't like, that wont help you or benefit you. Fulfillment doesn't come from having what you want dropped in your lap. Work, serve, live. Do.

Memory

My memory is terrible, at least until it comes to things i wish i could forget. The easiest things to remember are the most painful.

Love

Love is not supposed to end. Like God's love, it is forever, and anything less is less than love.

To lose it broke something that was not meant to break. Love wasn't supposed to end, ever. Only in our messed up, twisted world.

Betrayal

If you don’t want to know betrayal, here is a good rule: If you have a girl you love, and a close guy friend. Don’t let them meet. Don’t bring them into a circle of friends together. Don’t leave for school. Don’t lose her.

People

People are untrustworthy. They are self centered, and so they do not understand things from your point of view, they lie, and the will deal out pain so they don't have to feel it.

You are people. You do it to. So get over it.

You cant love without risking being hurt. If thats true then why does my heart seem so willing to love even though I want neither.

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I'm not myself yet,

My name is Nathan Sisson. I am a person who is broken and sinful and messed up. I have been saved by the Blood of a completely benevolent Creator. I did nothing to deserve this. He saved me so I could shed my broken self and become a new person. This is the person I am designed to be. Becoming that person is the goal i strive for. Recap: My name is Nathan Sisson; I’m not myself yet

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